The Time Has Come....

Well, after a 2 week hiatus, I am back to the grindstone tomorrow. *sigh* It's hard to believe that exactly 2 weeks ago, I was sitting in a hospital bed with nothing on but a backless gown, waiting for the OBGYN to remove yet another part of my female anatomy; and here I am - new, improved and 100% fallopian tube free.

So, I will go about my business and get back to reality with my floating ovaries. Even under the circumstances, I enjoyed this time off so much. I've gone on lunches with my husband, I've watched a million brain-candy movies, hung out with the kids, drank lots of coffee, and even went to a ladies' party (www.surpriseparties.com).

While I wait patiently to eventually win the lottery, I guess it's back to my routine - ironing clothes, making lunches, laundry, and everyday insanity. Believe it or not, I can hardly wait.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

I had the strangest dream last night. In my dream there was a girl I went to grade school with. Her name was Wendy. I haven't seen or even thought about her since 6th grade. I don't know whatever happened to her. I was standing in a store & she just walked up to me. She didn't look the same, but I knew who she was right away. It was so wierd - how can someone who has had no impact on my life in the last 27 years all of a sudden pop into a dream like that? I actually don't remember too much about her at all - To be honest I really only have one memory of her....

It was almost time for summer vacation. My girlfriends and I were so excited about the upcoming school year because we would be in junior high. Wendy wasn't a part of my group - from what I recall, she wasn't a part of any group. She was a little.....off. At lunch time she would sit in a chair closest to us to eavesdrop on our conversations.

Anyway, I remember us all talking about tweezing our eyebrows. None of us had ever done it, but we figured going to high school & all, it was probably a good time to start. I mean, after all, we'd be teenagers; and what teenager doesn't tweeze their eyebrows?

Wendy must have overheard this conversation, because the next morning she came to school & walked right up to us in the playground. All of our mouths dropped.

"See? I tweezed my eyebrows yesterday! I didn't even use tweezers - I just pulled them out with my fingers! It didn't really hurt too much."

Awkward silence.

You see, Wendy hadn't tweezed her eyebrows at all. She had pulled out all of her eyelashes. She looked like a fish.

How is it that this girl made it into my head?

So, I took some initiative & washed a bunch of bras today. I have them hanging all over the chairs. My dining room now looks like the movie set of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas".

I hope nobody comes to visit this evening.

As Promised....

Me - proof that at 39, I'm still full of hot air.

Kare & Jayne - My 2 best friends in the world. :o)

The girls with our umbrella drinks.

Okay, I promised that I would post pics of my birthday - I've really got to get on here more often.

Yesterday I figured that I would finally get my act together & get out of the house - I've watched a million movies & just as many "Beverly Hills 90210" reruns. It astounds me how that was actually my favorite show back in the day. Can we say 'bad acting' people? Still can't seem to tear myself from it though. good times, good times...

Did I mention what Kare got me?? A t-shirt that says, "Nobody puts Baby in a Corner"!!! How awesome was that??? And Jayne! She got me a "Hitmen" Hockey Sweatshirt. In another blog, I will explain my utter undying love for Bret Hart.

It was an absolutely great birthday - lots of food, drinks & laughs - with all my favorite people.

Wow - it's been awhile, huh? Sorry I haven't keep this up, but my life has been so busy, and now that I'm going to have quite a bit of time on my hands, I figured I'd keep you all up to speed as to what's been happening....

A few days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with a pain in my side - this has happened before, but nothing this severe. I did manage to get up & get ready for work, but after about an hour of being there, I knew I had to get to a doctor. I left work & went straight to his office, and after an examination, he determined that there was a high possibility that it was appendicitis, and sent me to the hospital immediately. Well, I had blood tests, pee tests, and three ultrasounds. Not appendicitis.

An OBGYN was called in and I was told that my right fallopian tube was twisted, folded in half, inflamed and full of fluid, and that they had to go in and remove my right ovary & tube. I had my uterus removed 8 years ago - not fun at all, people. I dreaded the fact that with only one ovary, I would have to be on hormone replacements for the rest of eternity.

So, at midnight I was brought in for emergency surgery. They did manage to keep both of my ovaries (thank God), but both of my fallopian tubes were removed. Not like they were of any use to me anyway - seriously. So, I'm assuming my ovaries are floating around in my stomach now, not attached to anything, probably wondering what's up.

I'm home now for awhile, and getting spoiled like crazy. Kare & Jayne brought over wonderful care packages (I love you guys so much), and mine & Vaughn's companies both sent me beautiful bouquets of flowers.

I'm sure in a few days I'll be feeling more like myself, and I'll be bored silly, so I promise to blog more. I still have to post pictures of my birthday, which was great, by the way.

I'm off to bed now, with coffee, a book from kare, and some awesome pain medication. Peace.

You are 20% normal You are abnormal. You are crazy and I'm surprised that the asylum would let you use the computer to take this quiz. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Oh. My. God. LOL I actually cracked up laughing when the results came up - even Amy said, "That's it???" I need to be institutionalized.

Found this below on my daughter's site:

faKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food. REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.REAl FRiENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.REAl FRiENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile.REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.REAl FRiENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste shit."

FAKE FRiENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the fuck out

Aah, good times, good times....Peace, everyone :o)

Steven Tyler revealed today that he has Hep C. He's known for 3 years...

Hmm...I wasn't informed.

I think I need to get myself checked out. ;o)

Back to Reality...

We got home last evening after a much needed break from reality. God, I love staying in a hotel. I would love to do this every weekend.
There was a little Mexican singing & playing the guitar at dinner on Saturday - I wanted him to sing Happy Birthday to me, but seeing it's not my birthday yet, I didn't know if that was such a good idea.
I learned that you can't even put a teaspoon of bubble bath in a jacuzzi. Vaughn was out in the room & all he heard was, "Ummm, honey? Can you get the ice bucket? The bathroom is covered in bubbles." He then asked me what I planned on doing with the bubbles once I scooped them out, and since I didn't think that far ahead, we just turned off the jets & had a bubble bath instead.
We went to Ikea - I only planned on getting napkins. I swear. But, Vaughn was holding the cart and was walking like his ass was on fire, so I panicked and started throwing stuff in. The bill came to $192.00, and even though I was shocked, I couldn't read the receipt because everything's got a wierd name so I didn't know what I would have been reading anyway...
We went to an amazing brunch yesterday, and there was a man (not the little Mexican) playing a harp. It was beautiful, but not nearly as much fun as the Mexican...There was a lady who worked there who was wearing a low-cut blouse and her chest was as hairy as Vaughn's. This gave me the giggles. I know, I know...I'm a 10yr old sometimes.
On the way there, we stopped in Nowhereville and ate at this Chinese Food/Burger place (this in itself should have been a warning). I guess they have a buffet on Friday Nights because there was a sign posted on the buffet table that read, "Only take what you plan to eat. If there is uneaten food left on your plate, you will be charged $5.00 extra". I burst out laughing - I am clearly not redneck enough to eat in a hick town.
All in all it was a great weekend. I did manage to finish the book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time"...Very different, but a good different.
Have a great day, everyone....Peace :o)

Date Night

I'm off tomorrow for the night in Edmonton with Vaughn for my bi-annual napkin run, and to take the new car on a road trip...He's got us a great suite booked with a jacuzzi (yee haw!), so it should be lots and lots of fun. ;o)

Bought a few books today:

This one kind of appealed to me because I was such a Judy Blume fan back when I was a teenager.

I read a review on this man's 2nd book, "A Spot of Bother", and it sounded great, so I figured I'd start off with the 1st one and see how it goes.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. :o) Peace.

I watched the memorial service they had for Steve Irwin last night. I cried myself to sleep.

Kiss the Crown

I was told last week by someone that I was "High Maintenance". I first took this as a joke, but when I realized that there was no humor in their voice, I became a tad offended. Me??? High Maintenance??? nah. So, I started thinking back....way back.....

About two years after I got married (I'll be married 17 years in December), I redecorated the kitchen of a house we had bought. It was all green & plum. I had a little glass bottle that sat by the sink that held my dish soap. One day I had run out & I sent my husband to get some. You know, this in itself, was a mistake. He came back with soap that was dark blue. Dark Blue! In a green & plum kitchen! What was he thinking???? I think I actually had a seizure. The matter was quickly rectified, and I had green soap in less than an hour.

About 2 years ago, I had run out of laundry detergent. I sent my darling husband to get some. "I don't want to," he says. "Why not?" I ask. "Because I'll just end up getting the wrong stuff." Apparently, after all these years, I've turned him into a paranoid shopper who can't pull anything off the shelf without my approval. So I tell him I use Tide. How on earth could he possibly go wrong with that? So, I get home from work and walk in the porch and see the Tide sitting there.....Fragrance Free Tide. You've got to be kidding me. So, I walk in the house, look at him straight in the face and ask, "When in the history of me have I ever bought anything fragrance free????" The matter was quickly rectified and I had Tide with a shitload of fragrance in less than an hour. I was also informed that after 15 years of marriage that my husband was never going to pick anything up at the store for me again.

So, we're sitting at the dinner table last Friday and I looked at Vaughn and asked, "Do you think I'm high maintenance?" He froze. I'm talking "deer in the headlights" froze. My daughter walks in, so I ask her. She chuckles and says (very sarcastically, I might add), "um, yeah". I ask her to tell me what she means. She says, "You bought me an Abercrombie tote last month because you wanted to implement name brands into my wardrobe. Dad took you quading a few weeks ago, and he had to wait until you put your makeup on. Do you want me to continue??" My son joins in and says, "You make dad drive 4 hours so you can go to Ikea just to get napkins." So, I proceed to defend myself by saying, "There are no good napkins in this stupid town!" Then, I'm guessing my husband finally thawed because, in the company of witnesses, he decided to contribute. "Look in the driveway. Look on your finger!" You see, I have a killer wedding set, but I have to explain that I never, ever asked for anything. I just simply state at one time or another that I want these things, and if he decides to go forward with getting them, that's purely up to him. And then he holds up the cutlery. I nearly shot him.

My daughter's friend came over this weekend to see the new car (yes, I got it....I actually sign the papers tomorrow). She looks at Amy & says, "Does your Mom have commitment issues with cars?" Okay, okay, it's my 3rd car in 2 years - sue me. My daughter, God bless her, looks at her friend and says, "My Mom has commitment issues with everything".

So, as we take my vehicle out of town this weekend so I can do a napkin run, I'll remember that as I don't get anything for the kids. And my husband should be overly grateful that I don't have a commitment issue with him. I realized that he was a keeper when a year went by & the novelty hadn't worn off.

So nice to know that my family's got my back.

Another one of my husband's favorite movies....I'm ashamed to say I watched it tonight with him for the jillionth time. Even more ashamed to say I laughed my ass off for the jillionth time. *sigh*
I think my husband is a bad influence.

Go figure

I'm a movie lover - not any specific type, I just love going to the movies. I married a man who sees no sense in it. He doesn't understand how a person would pay to go sit in uncomfortable seats, pay a fortune for snacks and not even be able to pause the show when nature calls. So, I usually end up going with one of the kids - or waiting until it comes on video, because that's the only way I can get Vaughn to watch it.
Until the other day....The preview for "Jackass Number Two", comes on tv. He cracks up laughing, looks at me and says, "Oh honey, we've got to go see that".

Amazing - all of the Oscar-worthy movies step aside....Johnny Knoxville, Party Boy, Steve-O, and Bam Margera are calling....where did I find this man of mine?

Intelligent thoughts of the day....

Hope everyone has a great day :o) Sorry, these comics make me smile - wanted to share them with all of you. Peace.

Decisions, decisions.....

Two years ago for my birthday, my husband took me down to the car dealership & told me to pick out a car.....I picked out a Vibe:

I should tell you that I had been nagging him for about a year for one. You know, it was the whole "Oh my God, honey! It's my favorite car EVER! Even if I won the lottery, I would want a Vibe!" So he surprised me... I picked one out (same color as above), test drove it, did the financing, and drove it off the lot...And I hated it. Don't get me wrong, I really like the car - I just hated the color from day one. You see, my dream is to own a silver vehicle ( a silver Land Rover, to be exact, but that's where the lottery comes in) - they didn't have silver, so my second choice was black. They had a black - with no air conditioning. Who in the hell wants a car with no air conditioning??? It gets hotter than the depths of hell here, and I'll be damned if I'm opening the windows with the shit that I've seen flying around in this city. So, I got this color - The official name is "Moonstone" - I saw "Gunmetal Grey". I'm not a "Gunmetal Grey" type of person......but I got it, and I've loathed it for 2 years.

I have been driving myself crazy as to the kind of car I want. So, a few weeks ago, it hit me. I wanted a Silver Tracker. Guess what??? They don't make them anymore! So, Vaughn took me down to the dealership tonight to show me an Equinox in the showroom. Gunmetal Grey. I looked out the window, and what do I see???? A silver one. He tells me it's used. I tell him that I don't care because it's silver.

So, I've driven it all over town, went to show my friend, Jayne & her husband, who loved it, and now I've got it sitting in my garage - I have until tomorrow evening to decide whether or not I want this new addition to my family. It's not a Tracker....It's definitely not a Land Rover....but it's silver. And it's pretty damn sweet.

20 years in the blink of an eye.........

20 years ago at 1:42am, I expericed the worst pain known to women.
Where did the time go? My baby girl is 20 years old today.

Amazing, how a girl almost 1/2 my age can be my best friend. What an astounding kid I have, ladies. She's the most stubborn, cranky, opinionated person that has ever existed. She would argue about the sun coming up in the morning.

I raised her to stand up for what she believed in - to fight to the ends of the earth for what she felt was right. I created this monster in my own image. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

20 years....gone in a blink. Wishing and amazing girl an amazing birthday.



Now, for your viewing pleasure, some pictures thru the years........

20 years ago

Today - some things never change, amy :o)

Amy then....

Amy today

Life is a Highway........

Well, Benjamin left yesterday....The supposedly "Bane of my existence" is gone. Amy is so sad - Her birthday is on Friday, so they had a going away/birthday party on Monday night and everything went awesome..poor girl...She is having such a hard time with this...

She did, however have the most amazing few months, and, he was absolutely amazing to her. I do feel though, that he is definitely a boy who has to be taken in small doses. I mean, it was fun, it was memorable, but he would most certainly constitute as "too much of a good thing"...And this is how I explained it to Amy:

Me: Remember that time when I craved egg salad sandwiches all the time? I couldn't get enough of them? I ate 2 or 3 of them a day, and after about 2 months I got so sick of them that I wanted to vomit? Remember that I couldn't even think of an egg without wanting to be sick?

Amy: Yeah

Me: Well, it was my favorite thing in the world, just like Ben is to you. But too much of my favorite thing made me puke. Benjamin is like egg salad.

Amy: But I don't really like egg salad.

(You have to realize that she was quite emotional during this conversation, and I was trying my best to put Benjamin's leaving in perspective, but she just wasn't getting it)

Me: Okay, maybe he's not egg salad for you. What's your favorite food?

Amy: Beef Taco Salad from Boston Pizza.

Me: Okay, Benjamin is your Beef Taco Salad.

Amy: But I don't think I like Beef Taco Salad that much....Can it be milk? I love milk. And you just know when you've had too much milk. Can Ben be like milk?

Me: Fine. He's milk. By this time, I've pretty much given up on the metaphors. Then Adam pipes in.

Adam: I don't get it.

See if I ever console anyone again. No one gets my logic.

Here are a couple of pics from Amy & Benjamin's Excellent Adventure. Happy trails. Thanks for the smile you put on my daughter's face. For that, I do love you.

12 Step Program....

I have a housewares addiction. Yes, I admit it. I'm not ashamed of it. I will work until the end of time to feed this addiction. I also feel that it's a genetic thing, as my Mother suffers from it as well.

I sat the other day and tried to think how many set of dishes I have owned in the almost 17 years I've been married, and I'm on my 12th set - This doesn't include the 4th set of Christmas dishes I'm on, but that's a whole other blog. Trust me. I couldn't even count (even though I really, really tried) how many bedding sets I've had, but I'm down to a summer one, a fall/winter one and my Christmas one. And then there's the vintage butter dish addiction I had a few years back - ebay was my best friend.

Anyway........about 2 months ago, I was shopping with Vaughn - he was shopping for God-knows-what, and I (as always) drifted to the housewares. I walked, surveyed the dishes, realizing that there wasn't anything that was catching my eye, so I strolled and strolled.....and then I came to an abrupt halt. Cutlery. I've been pretty good in this department, as I'm only on about my 6th set, so I'm pretty satisfied in that aspect. But I fell in love with this cutlery. And I started bellowing throughout the department store to Vaughn. He came running, and there I was, rubbing the cutlery.

"Oh honey, I love it!"
"It's impractical. The forks only have 3 prongs."
"Are you serious??? Oh, of course. You couldn't possibly get food on this fork with only 3 prongs - Everyone knows that the 4th prong is the most important. Jesus, what was I thinking?"
"Whatever - if you like it, get it."
"Never mind - I'll just covet it." And I think I actually whimpered a bit.

You see, I married a co-dependant spouse. I have a serious addiction and he feeds it. He has no addictions whatsoever, and he actually thinks I'm a little off kilter, but he loves me, and he permits me to be this way, so, technically it's all kind of his fault.

We've been to this store many, many times in the past few months, and I'm always drawn to this cutlery. He loses me in the store, because he always knows where to find me. I'm just there - standing - holding this cutlery and silently pouting.

So.....I come home from work on Friday night....All of my old cutlery is on the table. Me, thinking either Adam got sidetracked emptying the dishwasher, or he broke the cutlery drawer, walk into the kitchen. I open the drawer, and there it is....My new cutlery. I started squealing like a child and I jumped on him. I then looked at him and said, "You are so getting lucky tonight." My daughter almost vomit.

I love Vaughn - even though this really is all his fault.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Oh my God, this is one quiz that is actually accurate. ahaha

Never (and I mean never) Judge a Book by it's Cover....

I work for a communications company - in the cellular division. I know, I know, it's not the greatest of jobs, but I work with some excellent people, the pay is good, the hours are amazing and something interesting always happens. Always.

Take today for example. I had a very pleasant, plain, even frumpy if you will, lady come into the store this afternoon. The speaker on her phone wasn't working and I explained to her that because it was still under 30 days, we were able to exchange it. She was concerned that she would lose the photos she had taken, so I explained that she had one of two options - either email them to herself, or to save them onto the existing memory card. She didn't know how to do either and asked if I could help.....So I did...

I click on the first picture and did a double-take. It was a penis - covered in a sock with the toe part gone & only the head poking out. If you can't visualize this...visualize legwarmers from back in the '80's - you get the idea...So, without even breaking a sweat, I proceed to teach her how to email the photo to herself. When we're finished she said she also wanted to know how to transfer them to the memory card, and would I mind showing her that as well? Okay, I was kind of panicky at this point - I mean, the pictures are less than 1/2 inch when you're trying to select them, so I had to be pretty careful as to which one I was picking...So, I looked really quick, and said, "Oh here's a box of shells..I'll show you with this one." So, I enlarge the picture. And I stop. And I squint my eyes & pull the phone closer to me. And then I realize that it wasn't a box of shells. It was a box full of various vibrators and miscellaneous sex toys. It was almost like I had a "eureka" moment, because I said, "Oh, I know what these are," and she giggled. I'm pretty proud of myself that I managed to not miss a beat - I proceeded to show her - she thanked me and walked out of the store.

"I'll take 'Awkward' for 200, please, Alex"

You know, I'm probably one of the most open-minded people I know. All anyone would have to say is, "Hey, before you go any further, just to let you know, there's penis leg warmer & vibrator pics on there." I would have said, "Cool - thanks for the heads up." and gone about my business. I just ask one favor....PLEASE WARN ME FIRST. I don't like to be surprised.

Two years ago today, Porkchop came into this world and changed our lives forever. Everyone, please join with me today in wishing my little girl a very happy birthday!

Porkchop this morning playing with a few presents....

Happy Birthday, little Princess! Thank you for coming to our family!

What have I done???

A year ago, I left my 55hr/week job in search of something new....I decided that I no longer wanted to spend more time with my co-workers than I did with my family and chose to "semi-retire" - aka work part time. (I was figuring that I would prepare myself for complete retirement when I win the lottery in 8 years and 33 days, according to my clairvoyant, Karen)

At first, I actually didn't know what to do with all this free time - you know, having all of my evenings and weekends to myself, but my body quickly adjusted. I love it. More than you'll ever know. I don't believe for one minute that I was ever meant to work. I was meant to be a a rich person (or maybe even royalty), who hired people to do my work, and I could volunteer every so often to keep my conscience intact.

About a month ago, I had a "what-was-I-thinking" moment, and agreed to work full time all this week. You know how it is - it's far enough away that it doesn't really affect you, and then it creeps up on you, and before you know it, you're all of a sudden rushing in the mornings, getting home in the evening so tired that you just want to throw a box of crackers & a can of soup at your family because the last thing you want to think about is preparing dinner.

So, here I am this week - so tired I want somebody to take me behind the barn and shoot me. It's funny how easily I got used to the part-timing....I never ever worked part time in my life. Today I work 12 hours and I want to die.

This weekend, I plan to stay in my jammies and I have 2 books that I'm going to stay in bed and read:

I may possibly venture out for coffee & conversation with Karen, but that's it. No housework, no cooking, no anything else. Have a great day, everyone.....(p.s. because of my lack-of-a-uterus, I can only assume that I'm pms-ing...Heaven help all who I come in contact with today) Pray for me.

Sorry guys - this struck me as so funny... Have a wonderful day everyone! Peace. ;o)

And here it goes....

So, you remember me telling you all about Benjamin, and how he has taken Amy on a road trip to see a whale....Do you also remember me telling you that there's never a dull moment in the life of Amy? How about the one where I have a "feeling" about him? First let me start by telling you that she's seen the whale (4 actually). Second, let me share with you the text messaging conversation I had with my darling daughter yesterday:

Amy: If I tell you something, promise not to tell anyone - not even family?
Me: Yep
Amy: And promise you will love Ben regardless...And not judge.
Me: But I don't love Benjamin. I tolerate him - big difference. But I won't judge.
Amy: You love him because he loves me and I love him. The end.
Me: Okay, okay.
Amy: Ben got arrested.

This is where I started to shake...I started to sweat, and my heart dropped into the spot where my uterus used to reside....stay calm....stay calm...

Me: Today?
Amy: Last night. He didn't come home, then he called me this morning.

Me: Why was he arrested?

Amy: He hit me while he was drunk and a lady complained. Domestic dispute, apparently.

Okay, I actually felt foam start to ooze from the sides of my mouth. I think my body temperature rose about 200 degrees, and all I could think about was getting my ass to BC as soon as possible and ripping Benjamin to shreds.

Me: He hit you????

Amy: JUST KIDDING!!!! ( this was the part where I understood how some species eat their young)

Me: F**ck Amy. Not cool. Not cool at all. (I didn't use the stars for her - I think I would have hit her at that point, and I wasn't even drinking)

Amy: ahaha He did get arrested - for being drunk in public. I wasn't even there. I stayed in last night.

Me: Where is he now?

Amy: With me. Last night he spent the night with two random guys in a cell. ( I have to add here that Amy always thought it would be cool to spend the night in the drunk tank. Her fear of Death by Mother is all that has kept her away, I think. I'm sure she would fake drunkeness just to get into jail)

Me: Wow - he's living your dream

Amy: Yeah, he's pretty much my hero.

Me: I may have to blog about this.

Amy: Go for it. As long as you're not mad - that was all I was worried about.

Me: What can I do Amy? My only concern is you, and that Benjamin keeps you safe.

Amy: Don't worry - after he hits me, he always tells me he loves me. KIDDING!!!!

Me: Goodbye Amy.

I think I need a drink.

I've been tagged.........

....by my partner-in-crime, Karen.
Karen wants me to finish these sentences.....So, here I go....

1) The one household chore I don't mind doing is....
Bathrooms....Now, don't get me wrong, I don't necessarily love cleaning bathrooms, but, there's nothing more satisfying than walking into a sparkling, clean smelling bathroom...

2) The last person that made a surprise visit to my home...
Actually wasn't for me - it was Adam's best friend, Scout. He rode about 8-10km from his house on his bike, in the rain, to surprise him.

3) I cannot comprehend....
People who complain that they are fat - when they're obviously not. Even though I'm still packing on a bit of "winter weight", my motto is still - "One can never be too rich or too skinny". I actually have a silent resentment for anorexics and bulimecs...I swear I'd be one of the two if I didn't absolutely have a love affair with food, or if I didn't hate vomiting.

4) At this moment, I wish....
That every day was a Saturday & I didn't have to work.......or that I would win the lottery. ;o)

5) The last serious discussion I had was....
With my daughter's best friend, Jamie, yesterday...Amy called me and told me that Jamie & her boyfriend since high school had broken up and wanted me to bring her flowers because Amy's still on her road trip...I called to see how she was doing and she was so sad - it broke my heart. Amy's childhood friends are like my kids....I love them all with all of my heart.

6) The thing that mad me laugh the hardest today was....
It was actually last night - Amy called and she's in Nowhere Land in British Columbia - She was laughing hysterically because they were driving though some town that smelled like cat litter. May not sound too funny to you, but she was "out-of-her-mind" laughing, thinking that this was the funniest thing that she had ever experienced.

So, according to Karen's rules, I'm supposed to tag 3 people, and they in turn tag 3 people, and I guess this will go on until the end of time - So, here are my 3....

mist1, .:cris:., and last, but not least, desperate housewife

I'm stupid - I don't know how to add the links to the names, and it's too early to call Karen to get her help....She's been helping me with all my stupid "blogging" challenges....;o)

Whale Watching

Amy's on a road trip. With Benjamin *rolling eyes*.

Don't ask me what it is that I don't like about him, because, after long hours of contemplating this, I can't figure it out. He came into her life at the beginning of summer, as he's up here working as the summer events coordinator for the Boys & Girls Club. He also volunteers for Big Brothers. He genuinely cares for Amy.... But he flew in like a tornado and is enthusiastic about absolutely everything. I mean, who's enthusiastic about everything? Ben is.

Me: I don't like Benjamin *rolling eyes*

Amy: How can you not? And stop calling him Benjamin. And stop rolling your eyes.

Me: He's a mixture between Jeff Spicolli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Owen Wilson, and I don't like either.

I have since, softened to the idea of him... He treats Amy with so much respect, and does things to make her smile. Actually, she's been smiling all summer - if you knew the bitterness that flows through that girl's veins, you would know that this is no small task.

Amy has never seen a whale...Since "Free Willy" came out, she has been determined that she has to see one before she dies. Benjamin has taken it upon himself to take Amy on this road trip to Vancouver so she can fulfill her dream.

They have a destination - they just have a "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" way of getting there. No agenda. This drives me crazy. We've had a few conversations since she's been gone.

Conversation 1

Me: Oh daughter, where art thou?

Amy: Just leaving - and I've got one hell of a hangover.

Me: Sweet, Amy. That's so nice. You're in the middle of nowhere and you've got a hangover.

Amy: You know what's funnier? We got drunk last night at a place called the "Blue Yak".

Me: Goodbye Amy.

Conversation 2

Amy: Ben went sky-diving today and he survived!

Me: Does that mean I don't have to worry about you getting home next week?

Amy: We're not even half way through the trip - don't rule it out yet.

Me: Goodbye Amy.

Conversation 3

Me: Where are you?

Amy: In Lake Louise. Ben's friend lives in a tree-house and we're staying here for the night.

Me: A tree house?? What do you mean, a tree house???

Amy: He works at the hotel here, and they have lodging for the staff. You know - it's kinda like "Dirty Dancing".

Me: Does he at least look like Patrick Swayze?

Amy: No. He kinda looks like a "Totally Gay Ken" doll.

Me: Well could you videotape him saying "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" anyway?

Amy: Goodbye Mother

So, I'm crossing my fingers and praying to God she has a wonderful experience. It's never a dull moment with Amy anyway, and it's even less dull since Benjamin entered her life. Let's hope she finally gets to see a whale....And she makes it back to tell me.

Just for awhile.....

Banff Springs Hotel - My future temporary home.

Hmmmm....

I am 66% Asshole/Bitch.

I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.

Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
@ FualiDotCom

So, I'm like Howard Stern??? A bitch, huh? Like it's a bad thing... :o)

I'm home

So, I get ready to leave last Saturday, and realize that in the midst of my ever hectic schedule, I didn't get to the bookstore to pick up some reading material...I ripped through Amy's bookshelf and this is all I could find... The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants

I'm about 20 pages into this novel and I discover that I'm about a million years too old to read this, so I settle on the latest People magazine (The Lance Bass "I'm Gay" publication - like I didn't know that- it's my fault, remember??) and then we get to Sylvan Lake to spend a great evening with Karen and her family....

Always a good time when we get together - even if we do manage to get in trouble every once in awhile...She even lent me a book to keep me sane while I travelled - "Confessions of a Shopaholic". Little did she know that I would want to jump through the novel and strangle Becky Bloomwood's neck. Was it because she was a total nut-job, or was it because I noticed too many similarities between her and I? I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Went to the zoo, and took absolutely no pictures...How does one go to the zoo and not take pictures? So, the next day we went to Heritage Park in Calgary which was hotter than hell but beautiful...One lady, who was dressed up in her "Little House on the Prairie" garb walked towards me in one of the houses to welcome me. Well, me (being me) thought she was a maniquin and yelled, "Holy Shit, you gave me a heart attack! I didn't know you were real!" That would have been fine if the same thing didn't happen in the next house we went to. After that, I stayed away from anything that looked remotely human. Heritage Park is beautiful, and it was an amazing day.

I love Banff...We spent the day exploring the little shops, and I even got Vaughn to drive me around to pick out the house I'll live in when I win the lottery....I decided that I will build and stay at the Banff Springs Hotel while it's being built. Oh ....My....God. I was in awe.

Anyway, I spent a lot of time on the way home trying to pick apart the holiday - trying to convince myself that I couldn't possibly have had a great time. I mean, there's always something about the holiday that sucks. But, surprisingly, this one really didn't. I did end up reading "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants", and I laughed, cried and realized that I'm not growing up. Not yet anyway.

Holiday Time...

Well, I'm going to try this again...We went on a holiday in July, which was a nightmare (blog to follow on a later date...), so we're going to give this one more try this summer...We leave in the morning.....
We're starting off by visiting Karen & Rocky (aka MacGyver) in Sylvan Lake...

And after that, we're off to visit Vaughn's family - from there, he's going to take me to the Calgary Zoo,

and I'm going to get some much needed shopping done, as well:

From there, we're going to be staying in this great hotel in Canmore,

and hanging out in Banff for awhile (I'm moving here when I get my lottery winnings, which I haven't technically won yet, but that's a minor detail)

As per previous vacations, nothing (and I mean nothing) ever goes as planned, so I might be on a bus, or a plane, or a goat, or any means of transportation possible, and be on my way back in the middle of the week. Who knows....

Peace, everyone - I'll take lots of pics & hopefully post them during the week. Have a great week!