Man's (or Woman's) Best Friend...

So, my husband talked me in to watching this movie last night. I can't remember the last time I cried so much..I should probably start by telling you that up until almost 2 years ago, I was not a dog person. Heck, I wasn't any kind of animal person... My daughter nagged me since she was 8 years old for a puppy. There was no way I was having a stinky little rodent pooping all over my house - and you know the way the story goes... You get the kids the dog, they play with it for a few days because it's just so cute, and the novelty wears off. Who's dog is it then? Mine - and I didn't want the damn thing to begin with. I even had a friend who moved from Australia - she had to leave her dogs with her parents and she cried all the time. I couldn't understand why she just didn't go to the SPCA and get another one. I mean, after all, it's just a dog. I just didn't get it.

A girl I worked with 3 years ago got a puppy from a breeder (who happened to be her aunt) in Calgary. One look at this puppy and I knew that if I were ever going to ruin my life with some hairy mutt, this would be the one I would want....So my name went on the waiting list.......for 1.5 years. I was specific that I wanted a female, because, as much as I didn't want a dog, I sure as heck didn't want a one humping everything in sight.

I get a phone call that the puppies are born and she sends me the picture of the female. That was all it took. I think at that instant I loved her like there was no tomorrow:

All I could think was 'oh boy, what am I getting myself into?' So.....from this picture I had about 6-7 weeks to mentally and physically prepare myself for the new child.....But I had rules:

1) No sleeping on the beds

2) No on the furniture unless there's a blanket down

3) No human food - pet food only

4) Treats are for good behavior only

5) No licking! For the love of everything sacred - there's nothing more disgusting that warm doggie tongue. It's like being rubbed with a piece of raw bacon.

and the list went on.......and on.....

So, we picked up little Miss Porkchop 7 weeks later:

I knew...Instantly. I loved this dog more than my whole life. I couldn't love this dog more if I had given birth to her myself. So, here I am, almost 2 years later, I look at her every morning, as she's lying there on my pillow between Vaughn and I, and she greets me by licking my nose, I say to her, "Thank you for coming to our family." And I cry.

So, Vaughn voices his concerns to me - worried that I may not be able to handle it because dogs don't have the longest lifespan. I tell him that I pray that God takes me first. He thinks I'm crazy.

She eats whatever she wants - she gets treats because she's great, cute, basically because she breathing - she sleeps wherever she wants - and she is ruler of this house. I wouldn't have it any other way. After all, she's Porkchop the Wonder Dog - Princess of Greatness.

I finally get it.

Jimmy Choo vs. Crocs

Crocs

Jimmy Choo

Surprisingly nothing alike - Sorry , Karen - Pamela is not copying you.

Here comes the bride........

Pamela Anderson & Kid rock married today in St. Tropez...( My condolences to Jayne ). Gee, I wonder if she wore more than a bikini this time? I did read that she wore Jimmy Choo's though. Let's lay bets on how long it'll last.
They got married on a yacht. On an upside, at least if she got drunk and fell over the boat, she has built in floatation devices.

Wedding photo released by Entertainment Tonight - I guess she did decide on a bikini....I mean, it worked so well when she married Tommy Lee........

Bye Karen! :o(

So, Karen, you're leaving me for a few weeks, huh? I know you'll have lots of fun, and I'll see you next weekend in Sylvan...Who knows - if we luck out, maybe we'll find a hotel room and we can have our therapy session there! Maybe we should have thought about this a little earlier than a week ago, though. Sylvan Lake - long weekend & I want a hotel room. I'd probably have better luck finding a kidney. However, that's the one thing I like about our holidays - there really isn't a set agenda, just a bunch of stuff I want to do while I'm gone.
Six more days and I'm finished work and I'll be gone for 10! yee haw!

You be the judge

Okay.....
My post yesterday drove Karen crazy. So, I want to start a survey... What is the food that you love - the food that you can't live without? I know narrowing it down to one thing might be asking too much (karen hahaha), so how about narrowing it down to three things? I've given this a LOT of thought since yesterday (or should I say, since Karen analyzed the shit out if it...LOL) and I really think if coffee would be considered a food, then coffee would be my number one favorite. It is, after all, the one thing I can't live without. I absolutley have to have it everyday. I'll think of the other two and get back to you.

P.S. I love Karen...She's my sista from another mother...

Something to do with my lottery winnings....

Out of the Closet

So, Lance Bass from N'Sync revealed today that he's gay.......Do you think it's because of me?

Balls of Summer

So, this morning at 7:30am, I finished saying goodbye to Vaughn, and was putting on my makeup in the bathroom....He walks outside and I hear him talking (at 7:30am). I'm thinking to myself, 'okay he's talking to himself now...damn he's old.' He walks into the house, and I ask, "Umm...who were you talking to honey?" and he replies, "KYX 98 is outside our door."

Here I am, half my makeup on, and my hair not straightened. You see, my hair is natural afro...yes boys and girls, I have a jheri curl. So, I use an industrial strength flat iron to straighten this nest, and with the humidity the way it was this morning, the radio station showed up while I was looking like a chia pet.

Anyway, back to the story....Next thing I know, Vaughn is pulling my car out of the garage...I'm like, "What the heck is going on?" I go outside and the KYX crew (4 of them) tell me that they saw the "ball of summer" on Vaughn's antenna, and so they stopped to bring us coffee & a prize. A prize? The fuzzy hair was not even a bother now. You know what they gave us?? A new patio set from Sears! How bloody sweet was that???

So, I recognize one of the ladies from the Our Lady Peace concert last week. I looked at her and said, "Hey, you gave my daughter a backstage pass last week - she was the crazy one." She said, "Amy?? Your daughter is Amy??? Oh my God, you guys, this is where Amy lives! Where is she?? Can we talk to her???"

So, I go up and wake up Amy (who was only home since 5am - she went on a bender with a bunch of her friends last night, and is still drunk)....So I say, "Amy. Amy. Amy...For the love of God, Amy!" She barks back,"Dammit! What???" So I say, "Ummm....KYX 98 is downstairs and they want to talk to you." She replies, "What time is it? How did they get my f'ing address???"

So , she goes downstairs - they interview her for the radio and get some pictures. She walks in the house after they leave and looks at Vaughn and says, "Where the heck was your 'ball of summer' when Our Lady Peace was here?" I think I'll die laughing.

I have a new patio set, still in the box, so I'll post a picture when we assemble it. What a good day!

Last month I won $500 worth of meat ( yes, meat ) from our local gas station, and today we win patio furniture... If good things actually do come in 3's, I'm hoping that next month I win the lottery. That's my goal, anyway... :o)

For Karen

Well, I figured I'd put a post on here for Karen, seeing she didn't get all "gung-ho" and jump on the Kid Rock bandwagon with Jayne...

Disclaimer: I, in NO WAY POSSIBLE, am on either the Nick Lachey or Kid Rock bandwagon. Personally, they both make me a little gaggy....

These next pics are for me....seeing I had to suffer with the others....Cheers, ladies - I love you two. :o) Lord have mercy on my soul - I feel a sin comin' on..... ;o)

For Jayne - to put a smile on your face!

My Deal With God

Okay, I made a deal with God yesterday....I swore that if it would snow today I would be good until the end of time. I think God called my bluff.....

I woke up shortly after midnight last night to the loudest crack of thunder. It was so loud, I actually jumped from my side of the bed to Vaughn's covering my head because I thought someone shot at me. Needless to say, Vaughn wasn't there - Porkchop felt the need to protect us from underneath the computer desk in the basement.

The hail was coming down so hard that it was bouncing off Vaughn's truck (aka his baby, aka the other love of his life), so he's flailing around like a wet hen because he figures this Act of God is going to put dents in his truck. I felt like yelling, "It's all my fault! God is testing me!" but before I had the chance, the storm stopped - just as quick as it had started. I figure God knew that I knew.

However.......it was only hail. There was no snow this morning, so I figure being good until the end of the week should be sufficient.

God has quite a sense of humor.

It's hotter than the depths of hell.

I'm thinking this is the hottest summer I have ever felt here. I'm dragging my ass around because it's too damn hot to do anything. Please, let it snow tomorrow. I promise I'll be good for the rest of my life - just PLEASE LET IT SNOW.

Latest Book

Thanks for lending me this book, Karen. It was a great book that was very well written. It was actually maybe one of the best parts of my holiday. hahaha

Your Mom

Adam & I - waiting in line for the latest Harry Potter Movie - November, 2005

Adam is quite a character... He's a born performer who spends way too much time watching the Comedy Channel. I love our rides to school everyday, as he picks one joke that he considers was the funniest joke from the previous night and shares it with me...This is where our "Joke of the day" started.....
I believe it was Amy who actually began the "your mom" jokes in this house, but she passed the torch onto Adam many months ago and he's been running with it ever since. Some examples:

Me: "Adam, it's time to empty the dishwasher."
Adam: "It's time for your mom to empty the dishwasher."

Me: "Adam, you're wanted on the phone!"
Adam: "Your mom is wanted on the phone!"

I'm sure you get the idea.......

Anyway, like I said, this has been going on since what feels like the beginning of time, and we live with it........Until last week. Vaughn (Adam's dad, my darling husband) aka the "grown-up" purchased a new camera, and after careful inspection, realized it was defective. So, we're in the living room, and he says, "This camera is broken." Adam replies, "Your mom is broken." I kinda giggle to myself and get up to go to the kitchen. This is how it went....

Vaughn: "That's enough."
Adam: "What?"
Vaughn: "The your mom jokes. Enough already. It's getting old."

What was I thinking - I decided I needed to put my input into this conversation. So, I replied, "Your mom is getting old." Adam and I burst into a fit of laughter, and Vaughn was silent.

I think I need to grow up.

Pics from the concert

Okay, so apparently I must be doing something crazy because for some reason, I can't add pics to yesterday's post. hmm... So, here they are:

This is Amy and I - before the whole "meet the band" episode

Amy - with the drummer (thinking his name might be Jeremy??)

Amy with the bass player (don't have a clue who he is)

Amy with the guitarist (Steve?)

Amy with Our Lady Peace (sans drummer) She said to me "Look mom, he actually has his arm around me!" This is how they met....He walks up to her, after she's talking to Jeremy, and says, "Amy, right?" She says, "Yeah". Then he says, "Hi, I'm Raine," and shakes her hand - she apparently crapped in her pants at that very moment.

My husband, Vaughn, who's the ummm... normal one, wonders what's left. He said, "I don't get it. She lives her life for Our Lady Peace. She's seen them in concert a million times, and now she's met them. Now what? Anything more would make her a stalker." I replied, "You see, honey, this is the band Amy will love till the end of time. This is the band she'll take her daughter to someday. Our Lady Peace is like my Duran Duran." He stares blankly at me and says, "I still don't get it." I just rolled my eyes.

My daughter, the hero

Yesterday was a blast. At first (as usual) I was complaining to Amy that there was no logical reason for us to be arriving at the concert 4.5 hours early. Amy (being Amy) had a mini tantrum (amazing how she's almost 20 and still hasn't gotten over the "terrible twos"). You see, Amy LOVES Our Lady Peace. She has the "Naveed" tattoo on her foot, she has "OLP" on her grad ring - she even sent in the most unbelieveable video to Much Music about 4 years ago, because she wanted to meet them. (Didn't win, but got an honorable mention)

Anyway.....we get there....and it's raining. I'm instantly cranky. She walks up to the arena and sees these 2 girls wearing VIP passes. She then is thinking (out loud, I might add) "how in the hell did they get those???" They tell her that about 15 or so people were randomly stopped for having those KYX 98 "balls of summer" on their antennas of their cars. Well, Amy, not having her license, says "Well, I don't have my license. What the hell was I supposed to do - walk around town with one on my head?" (shoot me - she's just like her mother) So, she proceeds to tell them how she's seen them 4 times, the tattoo, grad rings, and the video - in which she dressed up like a duck singing in the shower, dressed like a clown and stood by the side of the road with a sign saying "HONK IF YOU LOVE OUR LADY PEACE", and dressed in a tutu in the mall and sang OLP music....etc...etc...etc...

A lady from KYX Promotions overheard and told Amy, "Gee, you are such an extreme fan (extreme as in stalker) - I wish I had brought more passes." Amy sits and sulks... We then get her to go up to this lady and get her to take pictures at least - so the lady take Amy's camera and tells her that she will burn a copy of all the pictures that she takes for the newspaper as well. Amy starts to cheer up....

All of the "VIP" people start to go in.... Amy's eyes start to well up.... Before you know it, some other lady comes out of the sound check party and walks up to Amy and says, "Are you Amy? The one with the tattoo?" (I think she had to be more specific in that department because she has 8, but whatever) Amy says "Yeah". She hands Amy a VIP pass, and says, "Come with me - you can meet the band". OH MY GOD. I was screaming, Amy was crying and we all went mental. She got to listen in on their sound check, met them all and got wicked awesome pictures with them. She came out and said, "I didn't know we weren't supposed to clap at sound checks". She can die a happy woman.

So - we went to another concert - I was up front with my daughter in the mosh pit. I screamed and sang and got the crap beaten out of me, and today I have lost my voice and I feel like I've been run over by a bus. Amy looked at me last night and said "Thanks Mom - for everything". I didn't do anything, but, with all of the pain I'm feeling right now, it was so worth it. The look on her face will forever be my favorite memory.

My Girl

Here she is, Karen - just for you. Miss Porkchop.


You can come and play with her any time you want... Just remember, she pees when she gets excited.

Divorce??

Carmen Electra & Dave Navaro split up - do you think it was because of me?

Welcome to my blog!

Much to my husband's disapproval, I'm a pretty liberal mother of 2. I think my biggest fear was growing up and raising my kids like I was raised. Yes, some may feel that you cannot be your kid's friend, but I am succeeding (I think) at being both a friend and a parent. My son is 15, and we have our lunch dates every Friday - My daughter is 19 and she and I are so much alike it's insane.

So, tomorrow, I'm off to my jillionth concert with my daughter, Amy - Our Lady Peace(picture in corner)....boo yeah!

I have random thoughts, so I'm thinking that this blog will consist of my random thoughts. Not all will make sense to everyone, but, then again, not all make sense to me either.