Kiss the Crown

I was told last week by someone that I was "High Maintenance". I first took this as a joke, but when I realized that there was no humor in their voice, I became a tad offended. Me??? High Maintenance??? nah. So, I started thinking back....way back.....

About two years after I got married (I'll be married 17 years in December), I redecorated the kitchen of a house we had bought. It was all green & plum. I had a little glass bottle that sat by the sink that held my dish soap. One day I had run out & I sent my husband to get some. You know, this in itself, was a mistake. He came back with soap that was dark blue. Dark Blue! In a green & plum kitchen! What was he thinking???? I think I actually had a seizure. The matter was quickly rectified, and I had green soap in less than an hour.

About 2 years ago, I had run out of laundry detergent. I sent my darling husband to get some. "I don't want to," he says. "Why not?" I ask. "Because I'll just end up getting the wrong stuff." Apparently, after all these years, I've turned him into a paranoid shopper who can't pull anything off the shelf without my approval. So I tell him I use Tide. How on earth could he possibly go wrong with that? So, I get home from work and walk in the porch and see the Tide sitting there.....Fragrance Free Tide. You've got to be kidding me. So, I walk in the house, look at him straight in the face and ask, "When in the history of me have I ever bought anything fragrance free????" The matter was quickly rectified and I had Tide with a shitload of fragrance in less than an hour. I was also informed that after 15 years of marriage that my husband was never going to pick anything up at the store for me again.

So, we're sitting at the dinner table last Friday and I looked at Vaughn and asked, "Do you think I'm high maintenance?" He froze. I'm talking "deer in the headlights" froze. My daughter walks in, so I ask her. She chuckles and says (very sarcastically, I might add), "um, yeah". I ask her to tell me what she means. She says, "You bought me an Abercrombie tote last month because you wanted to implement name brands into my wardrobe. Dad took you quading a few weeks ago, and he had to wait until you put your makeup on. Do you want me to continue??" My son joins in and says, "You make dad drive 4 hours so you can go to Ikea just to get napkins." So, I proceed to defend myself by saying, "There are no good napkins in this stupid town!" Then, I'm guessing my husband finally thawed because, in the company of witnesses, he decided to contribute. "Look in the driveway. Look on your finger!" You see, I have a killer wedding set, but I have to explain that I never, ever asked for anything. I just simply state at one time or another that I want these things, and if he decides to go forward with getting them, that's purely up to him. And then he holds up the cutlery. I nearly shot him.

My daughter's friend came over this weekend to see the new car (yes, I got it....I actually sign the papers tomorrow). She looks at Amy & says, "Does your Mom have commitment issues with cars?" Okay, okay, it's my 3rd car in 2 years - sue me. My daughter, God bless her, looks at her friend and says, "My Mom has commitment issues with everything".

So, as we take my vehicle out of town this weekend so I can do a napkin run, I'll remember that as I don't get anything for the kids. And my husband should be overly grateful that I don't have a commitment issue with him. I realized that he was a keeper when a year went by & the novelty hadn't worn off.

So nice to know that my family's got my back.