So, you remember me telling you all about Benjamin, and how he has taken Amy on a road trip to see a whale....Do you also remember me telling you that there's never a dull moment in the life of Amy? How about the one where I have a "feeling" about him? First let me start by telling you that she's seen the whale (4 actually). Second, let me share with you the text messaging conversation I had with my darling daughter yesterday:Amy: If I tell you something, promise not to tell anyone - not even family?
Me: Yep
Amy: And promise you will love Ben regardless...And not judge.
Me: But I don't love Benjamin. I tolerate him - big difference. But I won't judge.
Amy: You love him because he loves me and I love him. The end.
Me: Okay, okay.
Amy: Ben got arrested.
This is where I started to shake...I started to sweat, and my heart dropped into the spot where my uterus used to reside....stay calm....stay calm...
Me: Today?
Amy: Last night. He didn't come home, then he called me this morning.
Me: Why was he arrested?
Amy: He hit me while he was drunk and a lady complained. Domestic dispute, apparently.
Okay, I actually felt foam start to ooze from the sides of my mouth. I think my body temperature rose about 200 degrees, and all I could think about was getting my ass to BC as soon as possible and ripping Benjamin to shreds.
Me: He hit you????
Amy: JUST KIDDING!!!! ( this was the part where I understood how some species eat their young)
Me: F**ck Amy. Not cool. Not cool at all. (I didn't use the stars for her - I think I would have hit her at that point, and I wasn't even drinking)
Amy: ahaha He did get arrested - for being drunk in public. I wasn't even there. I stayed in last night.
Me: Where is he now?
Amy: With me. Last night he spent the night with two random guys in a cell. ( I have to add here that Amy always thought it would be cool to spend the night in the drunk tank. Her fear of Death by Mother is all that has kept her away, I think. I'm sure she would fake drunkeness just to get into jail)
Me: Wow - he's living your dream
Amy: Yeah, he's pretty much my hero.
Me: I may have to blog about this.
Amy: Go for it. As long as you're not mad - that was all I was worried about.
Me: What can I do Amy? My only concern is you, and that Benjamin keeps you safe.
Amy: Don't worry - after he hits me, he always tells me he loves me. KIDDING!!!!
Me: Goodbye Amy.
I think I need a drink.
14 comments:
I think I would have killed my daughter. You handled that pretty good. At least he didnt hit her that is all that is important, right?? Is she still having fun?? Hope you had a great weekend!!
My God Darlene. Your story sounded so real. Kids are shits when they do that kind of stuff. Hope your party is good. Sorry I couldn't make it. Let me know how you did. Tupperware usually sells really well??????????????
Remember, your dislike for Ben and her "like" for him are proportional opposites! Tell her how much you love him, and she'll dump him. Ask him to move in.
Amy is sooooo bad and evil. lol.
Ya, Darlene, ask him to move in.
schell: "tupperware" party was great - Karen won $30 in free stuff! I wish you had been here :o)
dh: Benjamin leaves 14 days. Amy's going to die.
courtney: sometimes I feel like if I strangled that girl, no jury in the world would convict me.
brandy: so...you've got my back if I get arrested?
karen: Thanks for coming (hee hee hee) last night. Love you! ;o)
You can get arrested for being drunk in public? Oh shi*t, I better watch out.
Alright your daughter is an ass just like mine. Mine actually did spend the night in a drunk tank though. Actually in the NYC tombs. I don't think Amy would have wanted to be there.
The joke about hitting wasn't funny, and not knowing her I'm going to say that I would try and be skeptical about that conversation.
OMG! I'm sure I would have blown a gasket! Can I be the first to say, you were right about the boy!
so it seems that i have some clearing up to do.
ben doesnt hit me.
i promise.
ahaha that would be the day someone tried to hit me - they wouldnt live to tell of it.
he thinks the world of me and does leave exactly 2 weeks from today.
also 2 days befor my birthday.
but we wont go there.
ahaha
i DO want to stay in a drunk tank.
i think its hilarious.
ive been drunk as fuck [pardon my language] and yet, never made it.
i feel like ive failed every night i go out and DONT get thrown in there and find myself wondering what more i could of done. ahaha
and you guys dont be fooled by my mothers "hate" for ben.
she called me the other day AT WORK just to let me know she thinks ben is a great guy.
[ remember that mom, after we got out pictures done? ]
she loves him.
and p.s. karen - she doesnt have to ask him to move in - he asked me to go to windsor. ahaha
[ settle down mom - i wouldnt go... wait yeah i would. then grandma would actually be right about me living a life of sin. aha ]
aaaaaaaanyway.
i need a nap.
love you! xoxo
okay amy - everyone knows my daughter is a delinquent..and watch your language. I don't care if you're going to be 20 in a few weeks - you'll never be to old to get a whoopin' or to be grounded.
And now everyone can view 1st hand the maturity you consume...You came home from a life-changing memorable holiday with nothing to show for it but a poster of David Hasselhoff. Sweet.
Darlene i am behind you on the whole Amy thing .Mind you i must say its great she tells you these things...when i think of all the things i did at her age and have NEVER told my mother (and am not going to!!!)Hi to everyone else!!!!
ok that last comment was from me ...oops i am anything but anonymous
WOW. That left me speechless.
Yep - never a dull moment, that's for sure.
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