I've been told that you should learn a new thing every day - that with every experience, whether good or bad, you should take something away from it and categorize it as a learning experience. Well, today, this is what I've learned:Never - and I repeat never put a handful (approximately a dozen) Milk Duds in your mouth all at the one time while you're driving. Not only does the sugar rush bring on a coughing fit, but the caramel doesn't dissolve and you end up with a chewy wad about the size of a golf ball in your mouth. You then finally realize that you have one of two options:
1) Spit the gob onto your lap.
2) Swallow
I attempted #2.
Today I learned that it is impossible to give yourself the Heimlich maneuver while driving.
Have a great day, everyone. Peace.
15 comments:
Good Lord! If you're blogging then my must have survived! When I was 5, I learned not to jump up and down with a dime (10 cents) in your mouth. Bad idea. I'll put milk duds on that list.
sue: wow - did you end up swallowing it, choking, have to go to the hospital? Well, at least you have one thing up on me - you were only 5. ahahah
EEK!
Next time go for M&M's. Plain, not almond. ;)
Cris~
cris: Good point - I'll stock up my glove compartment ASAP. lol
Holy Crap Darlene! I'm glad you are OK. You know I have a love hate relationship with Milk Duds. I love to eat them, but hate it when my little cousin drops a couple down my back without me knowing. She did it in the summer and while I was driving to the mall, they melted through my shirt (an untucked polo shirt) and it looked like I had poo on the back of my shirt. When my Aunt noticed it we weren't really sure what it was until Kelsie spilled the beans about what she did. Not to fear, I allowed her to live.
Another candy safety warning: Do not bite down on a half eaten Jolly Rancher. You will swear you have lock jaw and just might pull out a filling if you have any.
I HAVE ONE!
dont stick gum up your nose.
then finally get it out, and start chewing it again.
ew.
im disgusting.
p.s. netter - your milk dud story is by far the funniest thing i have EVER read. i laughed out loud.
nett: AHAHAHAHAH Okay, I'm with Amy on that one - that is so funny! I'm sure you probably didn't think so at the time, but that's a classic that I think I'm going to tell everyone!
(just to elaborate on Amy's post...) Amy stuck gum up her nose when she was a kid & while we were at emergency waiting for the Dr to come syringe it out, she pushed it further up, it came out her mouth and she started chewing it. I nearly threw up.
Darlene, I ended up choking on it until I coughed it up. Of course at 5, my thought wasn't, OMG! I nearly killed myself but OMG! I almost lost my candy money!! So I can kind of relate to the gum. LOL
Here's what I tell the Boy:
"SMALL bites! SMALL bites!"
"Swallow before you take another bite!"
sue: Amazing what the priorities are when you're younger, huh? ahhaha
dh: Clearly I need you with me any time I'm eating snacks, because it's obvious that I have the mentality of a child sometimes.
Hope you're feeling better soon Darlene :)
...and its too bad m&ms do melt in places other than one's mouth. Might make for an ooky mess in the glovebox... How bout Skittles? :D (if its sugar- especially chocolate- I'm there!)
Sending lots of "get well soon" goodies,
Cris~
Goodness ... one at a time, two at most. You should know that by now! :)
Send me the rest of those. I don't want you choking yourself.
You should put that on a fortune cookie. It's very good advice.
LOL! Hilarious story and hilarious comments!
(Still laughing)
Glad you're ok, D. You'll spit next time, right?
cris: Not much of a skittle fan, so I think I'll test my luck with the m&m's.
dan: One would think I would know that, however this was the first time I actually ever ate Milk Duds. Sure, I've eaten tons of chocolate covered caramels, but never this brand. I'd like to say I learned my lesson, but chances are I probably didn't. I'll just make sure I'm not behind the wheel next time! ;o)
librarian: Fortune cookie, huh? I can see it now:
'Spit, don't swallow.'
Sound advice...
kare: you know me - I'll consider this a challenge. I think there should be a warning label on them though.
ahahhahahaha
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