06 November 2006

How's Your Gag Reflex?



So, I went grocery shopping last night. I don't particularly enjoy grocery shopping, but I sometimes like the time to myself - I like to browse & impulse buy. Unlike my husband, who has a set agenda and a list. He goes in, gets what he wants and leaves. Not me - I take my time, grab things that I don't ever need ("But honey, it was on sale!"), and then proceed to tuck them in behind other things on the shelves when I've come to my senses.

Last night, I first stopped to get my usual coffee (extra hot, non-fat caramel macciatto with 6 shots of sugar free syrup & extra caramel on the top, please), and I went on my merry way, with my shopping cart and with all the optimism of a person who clearly wanted an hour or two to herself.

And then I heard it....This low, mournful moaning - kinda like the sound you hear when two bucks are fighting to mate with the doe. I stopped sipping my coffee and looked around. I stopped. There he was - some dirty little sweaty man looking at a Maxim magazine in the aisles....moaning and grunting like he was in heat. He glanced up just long enough to see the repulsed look on my face, and went back to his business. I think I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit.

He ruined my "mommy time". The shopping excursion was over.

14 comments:

aj said...

Oh Ew.

Just..

Ew.

Anonymous said...

what aj said.

Darlene said...

aj & tony: amen. yucky yucky yuck.

Anonymous said...

Ick! Men are animals! (Well, not all of them, just the icky ones in the grocery store.)

Darlene said...

sue: lol - if I ever caught my husband doing that in the grocery store, I'd punch him in the throat right in front of everyone. And for all you ladies out there, you have my permission to punch him as well, if you catch him. ahahaha

mist1 said...

I would have scalded him with hot coffee.

Darlene said...

mist1: are you kidding? No man is worth spilling one drop of my coffee. I should have just threw up on him, but that would have required getting a little too close.

.:Cris:. said...

Disgusting!

Next time offer to buy the magazine for him! LOL

Cris~

Desperate Housewife said...

Eeeeewwwwwww!

You should have said that to him, "Eeeewwww!!" really loud, and pointed, and bellowed, "That man is wanking at the magazine stand!"

Mermaid Melanie said...

sighs. Doesn't he know that the 7-11 is the designated "moaning at Maxim" spot?

hope he didn't smell too.

Darlene said...

dh: I couldn't make any noises other than the gagging, pukey sounds.
melanie: 7-11 must be known for that worldwide, because ours is the same way - you can get all worked up & then just pick up a hooker on your way out.

K said...

I think I threw up a little in my mouth...just a little.

Smooches!

Anonymous said...

Ewwwww!

That is completely Disgusting!!

Double Eww!

Triple Eww!!!!

Some men are just pigs!!

Librarian Girl said...

You should have pointed and laughed at him. That would have killed his mood.