11 April 2007

Do I Qualify for a Car Sticker?


I was okay when I had my uterus removed at 30 - I mean, not exactly okay, but I figured it was useless after I stopped having kids anyway. Who actually misses the monthly 'gift that keeps on giving'? I was even okay when I had my fallopian tubes removed 6 months ago. I even found it humorous - wondering what my ovaries were up to now that they were no longer attached to anything.
The doctors told me 9 years ago, that I would still experience hormonal changes every month, however, that would be it. I still have PMS in a bad way, but it leads up to nothing. For approximately one week a month, I become bipolar. The first few days (stage 1), I experience euphoric bliss. I'm like a dog in heat (this is the few days that are Vaughn's favorite) - everything is right in the world, as I have no worries at all. I am a happy camper.... Then something triggers the sadness (stage 2) - I don't know what it is, but I cry at everything - it can be a commercial, 'Extreme Makeover: Home Edition', or even a call from a telemarketer. At this stage, I am inconsolable. All of a sudden, the anger will creep up (stage 3). When this happens, it's every man for himself. I will threaten to quit my job, I will throw random objects across the room, and I have even been known to wake Vaughn up in the middle of a deep sleep just to pick a fight.
Just a few weeks ago, I hit 'stage 1' when my washing machine died - To me, at that time, I thought this was the funniest thing in the world. It was okay because I still had clean clothes, and that I was waiting until the weekend to get a new one. However, when the weekend rolled around, 'stage 2' reared it's ugly head. When Vaughn called Sears to order the washing machine that I wanted, we were told that it would take 5 days to arrive. This was all it took - I curled up in bed, threw the covers over my head and sobbed like a child. He tried to console me, and when he asked why I was crying, I whimpered, "The washer is broken, I have dirty clothes everywhere, I'm fat and I'm getting old!" My poor husband. He took me down and got me the washing machine that day.
We've learned to live with this - it's not a fun way to live, but what can you do, right? I have not, however, learned how to deal with early menopause. It's started - I wake up at least twice a night with hot flashes, I'm slowly acquiring more junk in my trunk, and I'm craving mid-morning naps - and the busy signal at my doctor's office all day yesterday made me want to purchase a gun.
I hate getting old. This sucks. Big time.
Have a great day everyone. Peace.

12 comments:

Court said...

AWWWW!! Hugs!! Like that will help but hugs anyways!! Snow is no longer a word to be spoken in this house. I want to swim. I am being selfish!! It is going to be off and on rain today. Fill up the pool. Less money I have to use to fill it. : ) Hope it gets easier for you!! {{HUGS}}

Darlene said...

court: thanks! I'm a winter girl, so the snow isn't bothering me too much, aside from the fact that I can't keep my car clean! I just think that the longer we have snow, the less time we'll have bugs. ;o) Have a good day!

Anonymous said...

{hugs} Man! This all sounds like a movie of my life! Hang in there!

Unknown said...

*hugs*

aging sucks butt.

Anonymous said...

Well, Darlene, luckily for you I've made this week officially Fuck the World week.
Take a load off and enjoy.

Darlene said...

sue & kari: Thanks! - Let us rejoice our womanhood. *rolling eyes*

kare: ROFL Let's celebrate! I'll bring drinks!

Yarn Tails said...

I hate getting old! It blows like you wouldnt believe. I need a drink now!

{{{HUGS}}}

Desperate Housewife said...

All the hormonal crap sucks, but it could be worse: you could be a MALE!

Schell said...

Ahhh, as if we don't go through enough eh? I am convinced my blood runs cold, because I am frozen most of the time. Sometimes I wish for hot flashes, ( I know I'll regret I ever thought that some day ).Road trip coming up for me and Amanda. I havn't been out for 5 months. Need to shop, need to shop. ha ha.

egan said...

I still crave naps too. It sucks ass when appliances break, no matter what state of mind you're in. Take care.

C... said...

You have defined the source of my rage in today's post. Stage 3. I was in Stage 2 two nights ago and while I was busy stuffing my face with Crunch and Munch earlier I must have relapsed into Stage 1 and forgotten that the junk in my trunk is still there and will grow if I do not stop with the one arm aerobics to my mouth.

LadyLinoleum said...

I am totally with you woman. They older I get, the more issues I seem to have. It' dumb. Big hugs to you.