11 September 2007










Don't you just love it when you wake up for work and your day is going great? Your hair went perfect, you're not running behind, you don't get stuck in a traffic jam, there's no lineup at Starbucks....Everything is going absolutely swell.....And then there's that one person....every day, that just fucks it all up.

I have one of those people. Every morning, I stop at my work to pick up cash, paperwork, etc; and I make the lovely trip to head office to meet with the lady in Accounts Payable. Her job is to balance our previous day. That's it. If we've screwed up, or the cash doesn't jive, it's her job to get it back in the groove.

I'm a morning person. So, when I arrive at her office, my makeup is freshly done, my hair is great, and my clothes are wrinkle free (this doesn't last all day, but seeing it's the 1st thing in the morning, all is well.)

When I walk into her office, I'm chipper. When I greet someone in the morning saying, "Good morning - how are you today?", the correct response is, "Fine, thanks. How are you?" I don't care if your allergies are acting up. I don't care if your loser boyfriend won't pay his bills. I don't care if the company is trying to kill you by cutting off the heat in your office. And I certainly don't care if your six month flu is bringing you just that much closer to death. But I listen (as I'm checking messages on my cell phone) and I normally just let her have her rant. She then will proceed to complain about how whoever closed the store the night before should be tested for mental capability. How one of these days she's just going to stop doing our day end until someone actually gets it right. This burns my ass every day. This morning I had enough. I'll re-enact this morning's events....For privacy reasons, we'll call her "Swamp Thing".

Me: Good Morning all! How is everyone this fine morning? Why's your office door closed?

Swamp Thing: Don't be talking! The mold in this building is killing me. My allergies are worse today than they've ever been. It's obvious that 'the powers that be' (she actually did the finger quotes) have no interest in the little people!

Me: Well....that sucks...Hey, can we hurry this up? I've still gotta do a coffee run.

Swamp Thing: You can hang on. God knows it takes me twice as long to do your store. When are they going to start training people right anyway? I've just about had it with your store!

Me: Whatever. *rolls eyes*

Swamp Thing: Do you have any idea what I have to do every day? Do you know how much extra work it is?

~~~Let me just say, in my defense, she was cutting into my coffee time~~~

Me: Extra work?? Extra work?? It's your goddamn job! Do you know how much work it is for me to drag my ass in here every morning to listen to this? Get the goddamn stick out of your ass and do your job! I'm not packing my fucking bags to go on your pity trip this morning! Now hurry up, you're clearly not worth missing coffee for.

Not another word....The cash was done. I got my coffee. Life was good.


Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

that right there is why i love my mother more and more everyday.
" im not packing my bags... "
you pulled an amy!
im so proud!

Netter said...

Hehe.... that is the kind of thing that I do when I snap, when I have had enough and can't stand another minute of it. Good for you!

.:Cris:. said...

LMAO Hey Darlene... remind me to never piss you off ;)

Kudos to you!

Cris~

Darlene said...

amy: you taught me well. ;o)

nett: it sucks that you have to get to that point where you just explode, but I guess we can't control how many assholes are in thei world, huh?

cris: I'll be the 1st to admit that I have a bad temper, but it does take a lot for me to get to that point. Don't worry - I don't think you could ever piss me off! lol

Kare said...

Poor you! Every day you have to see her?

Swamp Things sounds lovely. Let me guess, she's ugly and doesn't do her hair, wears polyester pants, divorced, and hasn't had a date in a long time. Her adult kids are in jail and she smells like smoke all of the time. Bingo is her saviour.
Am I close?

(You scared me.
I'm sorry if I've ever done anything to piss you off.)

Anonymous said...

Ahahaha! She got told! Good for you! I stopped shopping at a grocery store because one of the checkers that I always seem to get stuck with, bellyaches about her break and hours and on and on. I'm just the customer stuck standing there while she checks my groceries, why the hell do I care? I don't even know her! So many times I just wanted to say to her, "It's your job, you stupid broad! If you don't like it, get a new one!" Gah!

Anonymous said...

**GASP**

Desperate Housewife said...

You did not say that!

Did you really?

I stay as far away as possible from confrontation of any kind. But I've always wished I was the kind of person who could tell people off.

Elaine from "Seinfeld" was my hero.
Now YOU'RE my hero!

Librarian Girl said...

I wonder if that will cure her forever. At least with you!

Dan said...

Buy an extra venti cappuccino next time and pour it on her head.

Darlene said...

kare: You're so right with your description ( not sure about the Bingo, though - I'll have to check it out. ) hahah

sue: what is it about people that makes them think that we actually are interested? Not friends, of course, but just random people?

dh: I wish I could avoid confrontation - however, it seems to find me everywhere.

librarian: I've been working with this lady for over a year - it was so therapeutic to get that off my chest. She wouldn't even speak to me this morning - which was probably a good thing..

dan: Are you crazy? She's clearly not worth wasting a perfectly good cup of coffee for!!! How about I drink the coffee & throw the cup at her? :o)

Schell said...

There's one no matter where ya go. Life is not fair. Bitches.

Darlene said...

schell. amen.