who's the boss....

Every morning I wake up at 5:20am (over an hour before everyone else), just so I can shower, make coffee, get ready for the day, in peace. I'm not sure if I do this every day for the safety of myself or others, as it's been clinically proven that I will bludgeon anyone who comes into contact with me before I've showered and had at least had 4-5 gulps of caffeine. Anyway, back to my story.

Anyone who knows me knows my love for Miss Porkchop. However, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not her favorite human. Sure, she loves me, but in a different way than anyone else. We've discovered that she thinks she's Adam's mother, as she protects him, sits on his lap to 'help' him with his homework, wakes him up in the morning, and nags him by burrowing and licking until he finally gets out of bed.

As for Amy, well, she's her wrestling buddy. When she and Amy 'play', there are sounds that come out of my little Angel of a dog that are more resemblant of a rabid hyena than the little princess that I claim she is. I always yell, "Cut it out! She's just a little girl!" But, there Porkchop is, jumping on Amy's lap, waiting for more.

My role in Porkchop's life is her companion, aka, her pain in the ass. You see, I'm the one who can't stand it if she's just sleeping there. I have to go up and hug her, kiss her, scratch her, pick her up, and just basically, piss her off. Sure, she loves me to death. When I come home, she cries with joy and rolls instantly on her back so I can maul her. I still tell her every day (about a million times) that I love her more than anything, and that she's the greatest part of every day. However, she usually lays there, taking it all in, giving me the stink-eye the entire time.

And then there's Vaughn. To Porkchop, the sun shines right out of his ass. She follows him wherever he goes, whether it be to the kitchen to get a drink, or to the bathroom. Sometimes at night, he'll wake up to go downstairs and if she wakes up and he's not there, she'll start to cry. When he comes back to bed (about 30 seconds later), she jumps on him and kisses him like he's a long lost soldier that came back from 30 years at war. As you can see from this picture, he is sitting on the couch and she's buried herself right behind him. She sleeps directly on top of him, and I know that if it were up to her, I'd be sleeping on the couch. I know this to be a fact, because when I get out of the shower every morning, I tiptoe into the bedroom to kiss her good morning. There's never any glee or joy to see me. Want to know what I walk into? My darling dog buried under the blankets laying on the pillow peacefully sleeping - on my side of the bed. Heaven forbid if I was ever considering getting back in.
I couldn't possibly ever get mad at her. I still love her to the point that I can't stop picking on her - no matter how cheezed she gets at me. She was and will always be Porkchop the Wonder Dog - Princess of Greatness. My little angel right from heaven.