'Tis the Season

Christmas comes and goes every year. There are a few things that begin to get me into the spirit. Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas. I live for this holiday. Not necessarily for the presents (although this is a major bonus), but for the feeling it brings to my heart. I love giving, sharing, baking, and I love decorating - finding old ornaments that ignite all these memories for me.

However, in order for me to get this "warm-fuzzy" feeling, things have to happen first, and a few of them have happened......

1) My Mom's gumdrop cake - I don't particularity like gumdrop cake, but when I take a bite of it, it feels like Christmas. My parents retired and moved a million miles away last year, but she still sent me this cake in the mail. I ate it, and I cried.

2) Snow - Okay, seriously, we could have snow in July and I would take out every decoration and start the holiday festivities early. I am not a summer person at all - I live for the winter.

3) Christmas Carols - I love Christmas music - this is music that I could honestly listen to all year round, but I limit myself. I try so hard to wait until it's about a month before, and then, look out. It's playing at work, at home, and in my car. I think my previous co-workers had actually taken contracts out on my life because of this. Then it gets to the most important carol - Josh Grobin singing "O Holy Night". I try to save this one for last because this is the one that makes it all happen for me. When he hits that final 'Noel' in the song, every hair on my body stands on end, my eyes well up with tears, and I think I actually feel like I'm going to pee in my pants.
This morning, as I was driving Adam to school, I found a mixed Christmas CD that Vaughn had made me about 3-4 years ago. So, we're listening to the tunes, and I'm singing along (badly, I might add, but my enthusiasm totally makes up for my lack of vocal talent)....I'm driving home, and it comes on. I turned it off right away, wondering if I'm ready to start hauling out the 14 rubbermaid totes and turning our house into Santa's Village.
So, I pulled into the garage and played it as loud as I could. I sat there and cried like a baby, all the while, Porkchop is riding shotgun and looking at me like I had lost my mind. Even if you're not a Josh Grobin fan, his rendition of this classic will put anyone in the Christmas spirit.

By the end of the weekend, it will look like a Christmas tornado swept through here. I can't wait.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

****Newly added thought****

I nearly forgot about egg nog! After my sobfest in the car, I went to Starbucks & got a Non-Fat Egg Nog Latte. My 1st one of the season! Oh My God, I swear I could hear the reindeer after one sip.

Greatest Weekend EVER

Okay, so maybe it's not the greatest weekend ever, but good things happened.

I went to my brother's to pick up his dog, Sparkles, on Friday to surprise Porkchop with a weekend sleepover. I love his dog - and usually, so does Porkchop. Well, usually. This weekend, her knickers were in a complete knot. Not only did she ignore Sparkles all weekend, she pouted, whimpered, and wouldn't even do her business outside if Sparkles went out too. I would walk in the house and start to scratch her & when Sparkles would come running, Porkchop would get up, walk away, drop like a dead dog and give us a dirty look. And then, after my brother picked her up this morning, she had the nerve to sit by the door and cry. I could have drop kicked her if she weren't so cute.

My new living room furniture arrived on Friday night - everything was perfect, except they lost the legs to the accent chair. Amy came downstairs and thought the chair was beautiful because it had an "Asian" feel as it was so close to the floor. She was disappointed to find out that I wasn't keeping it that way.

I went to my girlfriend, Amanda's last night, and met her Aunt Patsy. My eyes zeroed in on her feet. Before you get sick, let me explain that she was wearing homemade wooly slippers. And guess what? After I gushed about them, she GAVE ME A PAIR!!!!!!!!! My days of prostituting myself for wooly socks or slippers are over. Seriously, people - who's leg did I have to hump to get me some? My life is good.

Funny things that came out of my family's mouths this past week:

There's a new girl at my husband's work...She was outside the office, and Vaughn overheard her talking about "show-jumping"...He walks out, and asks, "What are you talking about?" She says, "I'm a show jumper". My husband says, "So is my wife, but in our house, we call it pole-dancing."

***For those who are easily offended, do not read further***

My daughter is a waitress at a pizza place. You know how annoying it is when the waitress always comes over to see how everything is just as you put the food in your mouth? Well, she walked over to ask this man if everything was okay and noticed he had a huge mouthful of food. She looked at him and said, "I'm so sorry - I always have a habit of coming when your mouth is full." Silence....He burst out laughing. She walked away. (sorry - I found this too funny)

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

Ebony and Ivory

Remember when Michael Jackson used to be cool? Heck, do you even remember when Michael Jackson used to be black???

I was driving to work this morning, listening to the radio, and "The Way You Make me Feel" came on. I cranked up the tunes so loud and sang to the top of my lungs. This was 'feel good' music - this was 'sing your heart out and get up and dance' music.

I loved Michael Jackson. When the "Thriller" video came out, my friends and I would sit and watch it over and over. True, by this time he had already had some work done, but he was looking like a well groomed, leather clad black man with a nose job. And he was cute. He danced like nobody else and his music made everyone's toes start tapping.

I'm not sure when the deterioration started, but man, he is one weird creature. This was a man who had the world at his fingertips, and then proceeded to eat one too many apples off the crazy tree.

I can't imagine him looking in the mirror every day and thinking, "Damn, I'm lookin' pretty hot today!" It's disappointing because he was so great, such an amazing performer, and now he and his taped-on nose will be known as nothing more than a bleached skinned perverted has-been. So pathetic.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still all about the music, but he's just a friggin' freak.

well......definitely not beautiful.

No-No-Notorious

In honor of desperate housewife, and to make a point out of someone who I think likes to mock me (*cough, cough* librarian *cough, cough*), I have decided to dedicate this blog to my all-time favorite band, DURAN DURAN.

I would like to start off by telling you how this love-affair began.... I was a pre-teen, living in Nowhereville. We only had about 3 or 4 channels, and that was with cable. In early 1982, in the middle of the night, I was watching TV, and for some reason, we were picking up this other channel from England. There they were, in the video "Planet Earth", with Simon LeBon dancing around with his knickers on. I froze, and I instantly fell in love.

Duran Duran wasn't popular in Nowhereville - in fact, I think my house was the only house that picked up the phantom television channel that night, because I was the only one who had heard of them.

Skip ahead to a few months later - I move across the country to a Blue Collar booming city...I met a girl who loved them as much as I did & we became great friends (I met kare around the same time - let's just say "opposites attracted" with our friendship)

I became the ultimate "Durannie" (lingo for Duran Duran stalker), I spent every dime I made in my summer jobs and part-time jobs buying posters, records, bootlegged albums, magazines with every article on them, and every biography (authorized or unauthorized) I could get my lace-gloved hands on.

We all had our favorite band member. Mine was Nick Rhodes. I loved him. Yeah, yeah, I know you're thinking to yourself, "Okay, we all loved band members at one point". But, I loved him with all my heart. I memorized everything about him, from his favorite color (magenta), to his favorite drink (Bolinger '75) - my girlfriend and fellow Durannie, even booted an old man outside a liquor store to buy me a bottle for my 16th birthday, and we drank every drop & sent pictures to the band, along with our monthly fan letter. Funny....I never got a reply.....

Much to my over-dramatic disappointment, Nick found another woman, named Julianne Friedman from DesMoines, Iowa, but for our sake and for this blog, we will lovingly refer to her as "the Tramp", okay? Anyways.....Nick & the Tramp married and my heart died.

They wore matching makeup and he had the most manly, pink tuxedo on. It was the summer - I took the day off work, drank Bolinger '75, watched Duran Duran videos all day and cried. In my high school yearbook, next to my graduation picture, my goal in life was to be their Personal Photographer. I haven't gotten around to getting that job yet, in case you were wondering.....

Let's skip ahead a bit - to when I was 19 - three members of the band had left, but the remaining were opening for David Bowie...I went, I enjoyed, but something wasn't right....I wasn't as gung-ho as I thought I would be.

Skip ahead, skip ahead....I now have an 18 year old daughter (This was winter of 2005), and I get a phone call from her at work. Duran Duran were back together, and were doing a reunion tour. Did I want to go? I instantly went online and reserved tickets.

She and I fly to the concert March, 2005. I was so proud that I was bringing her to this - not only was she a fan, but this was my childhood. I wanted her to see what I saw - see what I loved for 25 years. We check into the hotel and we start getting ready...All the while I'm thinking that this was crazy - I couldn't possibly be this excited...Just six months prior I had flown across the country with a girlfriend to see Madonna, and to her, that was her dream....To me, it was to see the original Duran Duran.

So, we're at the concert, and, in all the excitement, I purchased better tickets that were right next to the side of the stage - I figured if I were crazy enough to fly there for this, I was sure as heck going to have good seats.

The opening band comes out....And they suck. Not just a bit, but suck to the point that I'm thinking this was a bad idea. I mean, the lead singer was bouncing around the stage doing his coke-dance, and actually fell off. During the intermission, I started to contemplate leaving. "I am too damn old for this", I thought. It even got to a point that I was actually embarrassed to be there. Then the lights went out....And they walked onto the stage.

My whole body started to shake....I'm thinking it kinda started at my toes and gradually worked it's way up to my head until my whole body was flailing like I was convulsing. And I was screaming - Not your normal screaming, but more like this blood-curdling screech....I was crying uncontrollably to the point where I scared the lady that was sitting next to me and she moved to an unknown seat, and Amy was rubbing my arms and back trying to calm me down. This didn't go on for a few minutes.....This went on for the entire concert. I sang along to every song, I yelled "I LOVE YOU, NICK!!!!" about ten thousand times, and I was a teenager all over again.

After 3 encores, they left the stage, and I saw Simon - I yelled at him and he waved to me... Oh. My. God. I couldn't imagine sharing this night with anyone but my daughter. She saw me relive my childhood - and to think that my child loves them just about as much as I do makes me one proud Mom.

My life was complete...God Bless them. Long Live Duran Duran.

Peace.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Amy was given an early Christmas present from her Grandparents. They gave her an airplane ticket to Ontario - to visit Benjamin. Do you remember him? The 'bane of my existence'? The 'night in the drunk tank'? The ' I don't know - I just have a feeling about him'? Yeah, that's him.

It didn't go over so well with her Dad - he worries so much about her. But I guess it could be worse, right? RIGHT? He makes her smile, and they've missed each other so much.

She leaves on 5 December for a week. I'll keep a smile on my face for her, and tell her that I hope she has a fantastic time - all the while, I will be worried sick, telepathically sending messages to him that if anything happens to my first born, he had better pray that he dies too.

How's Your Gag Reflex?

So, I went grocery shopping last night. I don't particularly enjoy grocery shopping, but I sometimes like the time to myself - I like to browse & impulse buy. Unlike my husband, who has a set agenda and a list. He goes in, gets what he wants and leaves. Not me - I take my time, grab things that I don't ever need ("But honey, it was on sale!"), and then proceed to tuck them in behind other things on the shelves when I've come to my senses.

Last night, I first stopped to get my usual coffee (extra hot, non-fat caramel macciatto with 6 shots of sugar free syrup & extra caramel on the top, please), and I went on my merry way, with my shopping cart and with all the optimism of a person who clearly wanted an hour or two to herself.

And then I heard it....This low, mournful moaning - kinda like the sound you hear when two bucks are fighting to mate with the doe. I stopped sipping my coffee and looked around. I stopped. There he was - some dirty little sweaty man looking at a Maxim magazine in the aisles....moaning and grunting like he was in heat. He glanced up just long enough to see the repulsed look on my face, and went back to his business. I think I actually threw up in my mouth a little bit.

He ruined my "mommy time". The shopping excursion was over.

Ponder This....

Neil Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser, revealed that he's gay (big surprise). Do you think it's because of me?

You know what I love about Halloween? Smartie Shots. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, imagine doing shots of alcohol. You take that shot glass and pour it all in your mouth. At Halloween, you get the mini boxes of Smarties.....Voila - you have Smartie Shots.

This weekend should be great - aside from the sub zero weather we've been having. We are going to an annual charity benefit tomorrow night called "Kids Forever". It's a great night where you get to dress up, eat lots, drink lots, dance lots and there's also a silent auction. All the proceeds go to children who are either terminally ill, or with physical and/or mental disabilities. The kids are usually nominated, and they raise an insane amount of money, as the fund-raising for this event is ongoing all year long. We became interested in this because 9 years ago, my niece was the nominated child. She was born with a genetic chromosome defect which resulted in her being not only physically, but mentally disabled as well. An amazing little girl, who was not expected to live a weekend, and is now 10 years old.

This evening I'm meeting Vaughn at the furniture store to get new living room furniture! (yay!) I've been eyeing this stuff for quite awhile, and they have a 1-day sale on, so it's basically screaming for me to buy it.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. Peace.

MadameZ-Goodwill Ambassador

2 years ago, we had 248 kids show up at our door for Halloween - last year we had 176. So, being the good person that I am, I thought ahead - Thinking about the increase in population in our town, I did the right thing and purchased enough chocolate for approximately 3000 kids. I think we only got about 50 or 60.

So, here I am, with enough chocolate to feed a small country. I've decided to take one for the team. I will eat every last bit, because I'm just that nice.

This will get me into heaven. I can feel it.

Happy Halloween!

Okay, seriously - How much fun was it dressing up like I was from the '80s today??? I had long forgotten what a hoot it was to tease your hair, put on layers of jewelry and a shitload of makeup. When I walked downstairs, Amy said, "Oh my God, you should dress like this every day!" Not like I would....Been there, done that.

We even had a contest at work & holy shit, wouldn't you know it - I won. If someone were to look at me 22 years ago and tell me that the I would be wearing the same thing in the future for Halloween, and win as 'best costume', I would have laughed.

The blazer that I'm wearing? I bought that when I was 17 - I had to work every evening after school for 2 weeks to pay for it. Hey, it cost a lot back then to look that tacky.










My coworker, Amanda & I.
















Amy & I at her work - she was in '80s mode too - is even wearing my jewelry.

Just in Time for Halloween

Porkchop went to the hairdresser's yesterday - you know it's sad when your dog gets her hair done more times a year than you do. However, she looked so sweet yesterday with her halloween bows and her spider web bandanna. There isn't a tinge of "girlie-girl" in this dog, but I can't resist the bows every time.

So, I've been trying to decide what to dress up as tomorrow - we dress up at work. Last year, my brother (the fireman) managed to "borrow" some scrubs from the hospital, so I dressed up like an ER doctor, which was fun.... I couldn't decide for this year, though. So, it's a toss up between a "Pink Lady" from Grease, or, I'm going to dig through the memory box, and relive the '80's for a day. I think I'll go with the latter, so I'll take pictures tomorrow. Gee, I don't know if I'll ever be able to get my hair as big as I did back then - and the pink & blue eyeshadow...Sweet Mother of God.

So, you know how there are fruit trucks all over the sides of the road in the summer? They sell the greatest, sweetest, freshest fruit. We've all bought from them - I know I have a million times. I don't know what it is about fruit sold from a truck that makes it better than the fruit sold at the grocery store. I mean, for all I know, they stock up at the grocery store, load it into the back of the truck, stick it in little baskets, mark it "Fresh Picked Fruit", and sell it for twice the price. But I fall for it, and buy it every time.

My husband is a bit similar - however, he doesn't buy fruit out of the back of a truck. He buys meat. He came home the other day with his arms full of different kinds of sausage and burgers, etc....all bought from a guy in the back of his truck.

I'm thinking that they must have run out of every spice except for garlic, because you could smell my husband coming a mile away. Every time I opened my fridge, the smell wafted throughout and my house was smelling like Bangladesh.

I've resorted to triple-bagging everything, because there's nothing more appetizing than my garlic-flavored fruit and milk.

The Time Has Come....

Well, after a 2 week hiatus, I am back to the grindstone tomorrow. *sigh* It's hard to believe that exactly 2 weeks ago, I was sitting in a hospital bed with nothing on but a backless gown, waiting for the OBGYN to remove yet another part of my female anatomy; and here I am - new, improved and 100% fallopian tube free.

So, I will go about my business and get back to reality with my floating ovaries. Even under the circumstances, I enjoyed this time off so much. I've gone on lunches with my husband, I've watched a million brain-candy movies, hung out with the kids, drank lots of coffee, and even went to a ladies' party (www.surpriseparties.com).

While I wait patiently to eventually win the lottery, I guess it's back to my routine - ironing clothes, making lunches, laundry, and everyday insanity. Believe it or not, I can hardly wait.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

I had the strangest dream last night. In my dream there was a girl I went to grade school with. Her name was Wendy. I haven't seen or even thought about her since 6th grade. I don't know whatever happened to her. I was standing in a store & she just walked up to me. She didn't look the same, but I knew who she was right away. It was so wierd - how can someone who has had no impact on my life in the last 27 years all of a sudden pop into a dream like that? I actually don't remember too much about her at all - To be honest I really only have one memory of her....

It was almost time for summer vacation. My girlfriends and I were so excited about the upcoming school year because we would be in junior high. Wendy wasn't a part of my group - from what I recall, she wasn't a part of any group. She was a little.....off. At lunch time she would sit in a chair closest to us to eavesdrop on our conversations.

Anyway, I remember us all talking about tweezing our eyebrows. None of us had ever done it, but we figured going to high school & all, it was probably a good time to start. I mean, after all, we'd be teenagers; and what teenager doesn't tweeze their eyebrows?

Wendy must have overheard this conversation, because the next morning she came to school & walked right up to us in the playground. All of our mouths dropped.

"See? I tweezed my eyebrows yesterday! I didn't even use tweezers - I just pulled them out with my fingers! It didn't really hurt too much."

Awkward silence.

You see, Wendy hadn't tweezed her eyebrows at all. She had pulled out all of her eyelashes. She looked like a fish.

How is it that this girl made it into my head?

So, I took some initiative & washed a bunch of bras today. I have them hanging all over the chairs. My dining room now looks like the movie set of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas".

I hope nobody comes to visit this evening.

As Promised....

Me - proof that at 39, I'm still full of hot air.

Kare & Jayne - My 2 best friends in the world. :o)

The girls with our umbrella drinks.

Okay, I promised that I would post pics of my birthday - I've really got to get on here more often.

Yesterday I figured that I would finally get my act together & get out of the house - I've watched a million movies & just as many "Beverly Hills 90210" reruns. It astounds me how that was actually my favorite show back in the day. Can we say 'bad acting' people? Still can't seem to tear myself from it though. good times, good times...

Did I mention what Kare got me?? A t-shirt that says, "Nobody puts Baby in a Corner"!!! How awesome was that??? And Jayne! She got me a "Hitmen" Hockey Sweatshirt. In another blog, I will explain my utter undying love for Bret Hart.

It was an absolutely great birthday - lots of food, drinks & laughs - with all my favorite people.

Wow - it's been awhile, huh? Sorry I haven't keep this up, but my life has been so busy, and now that I'm going to have quite a bit of time on my hands, I figured I'd keep you all up to speed as to what's been happening....

A few days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with a pain in my side - this has happened before, but nothing this severe. I did manage to get up & get ready for work, but after about an hour of being there, I knew I had to get to a doctor. I left work & went straight to his office, and after an examination, he determined that there was a high possibility that it was appendicitis, and sent me to the hospital immediately. Well, I had blood tests, pee tests, and three ultrasounds. Not appendicitis.

An OBGYN was called in and I was told that my right fallopian tube was twisted, folded in half, inflamed and full of fluid, and that they had to go in and remove my right ovary & tube. I had my uterus removed 8 years ago - not fun at all, people. I dreaded the fact that with only one ovary, I would have to be on hormone replacements for the rest of eternity.

So, at midnight I was brought in for emergency surgery. They did manage to keep both of my ovaries (thank God), but both of my fallopian tubes were removed. Not like they were of any use to me anyway - seriously. So, I'm assuming my ovaries are floating around in my stomach now, not attached to anything, probably wondering what's up.

I'm home now for awhile, and getting spoiled like crazy. Kare & Jayne brought over wonderful care packages (I love you guys so much), and mine & Vaughn's companies both sent me beautiful bouquets of flowers.

I'm sure in a few days I'll be feeling more like myself, and I'll be bored silly, so I promise to blog more. I still have to post pictures of my birthday, which was great, by the way.

I'm off to bed now, with coffee, a book from kare, and some awesome pain medication. Peace.

You are 20% normal You are abnormal. You are crazy and I'm surprised that the asylum would let you use the computer to take this quiz. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Oh. My. God. LOL I actually cracked up laughing when the results came up - even Amy said, "That's it???" I need to be institutionalized.

Found this below on my daughter's site:

faKE FRiENDS: Never ask for food. REAl FRiENDS: are the reason you have no food.

FAKE FRiENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAl FRiENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM

FAKE FRiENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.REAl FRiENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"

FAKE FRiENDS: never seen you cry.REAl FRiENDS: cry with you

FAKE FRiENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.REAl FRiENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRiENDS: know a few things about you.REAl FRiENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.REAl FRiENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.

FAKE FRiENDS: Would knock on your front door.REAl FRiENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE FRiENDS: Are for awhile.REAl FRiENDS: Are for life.

FAKE FRiENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.REAl FRiENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that you know we don't waste shit."

FAKE FRiENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.REAl FRiENDS: Will knock them the fuck out

Aah, good times, good times....Peace, everyone :o)

Steven Tyler revealed today that he has Hep C. He's known for 3 years...

Hmm...I wasn't informed.

I think I need to get myself checked out. ;o)

Back to Reality...

We got home last evening after a much needed break from reality. God, I love staying in a hotel. I would love to do this every weekend.
There was a little Mexican singing & playing the guitar at dinner on Saturday - I wanted him to sing Happy Birthday to me, but seeing it's not my birthday yet, I didn't know if that was such a good idea.
I learned that you can't even put a teaspoon of bubble bath in a jacuzzi. Vaughn was out in the room & all he heard was, "Ummm, honey? Can you get the ice bucket? The bathroom is covered in bubbles." He then asked me what I planned on doing with the bubbles once I scooped them out, and since I didn't think that far ahead, we just turned off the jets & had a bubble bath instead.
We went to Ikea - I only planned on getting napkins. I swear. But, Vaughn was holding the cart and was walking like his ass was on fire, so I panicked and started throwing stuff in. The bill came to $192.00, and even though I was shocked, I couldn't read the receipt because everything's got a wierd name so I didn't know what I would have been reading anyway...
We went to an amazing brunch yesterday, and there was a man (not the little Mexican) playing a harp. It was beautiful, but not nearly as much fun as the Mexican...There was a lady who worked there who was wearing a low-cut blouse and her chest was as hairy as Vaughn's. This gave me the giggles. I know, I know...I'm a 10yr old sometimes.
On the way there, we stopped in Nowhereville and ate at this Chinese Food/Burger place (this in itself should have been a warning). I guess they have a buffet on Friday Nights because there was a sign posted on the buffet table that read, "Only take what you plan to eat. If there is uneaten food left on your plate, you will be charged $5.00 extra". I burst out laughing - I am clearly not redneck enough to eat in a hick town.
All in all it was a great weekend. I did manage to finish the book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time"...Very different, but a good different.
Have a great day, everyone....Peace :o)

Date Night

I'm off tomorrow for the night in Edmonton with Vaughn for my bi-annual napkin run, and to take the new car on a road trip...He's got us a great suite booked with a jacuzzi (yee haw!), so it should be lots and lots of fun. ;o)

Bought a few books today:

This one kind of appealed to me because I was such a Judy Blume fan back when I was a teenager.

I read a review on this man's 2nd book, "A Spot of Bother", and it sounded great, so I figured I'd start off with the 1st one and see how it goes.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. :o) Peace.

I watched the memorial service they had for Steve Irwin last night. I cried myself to sleep.

Kiss the Crown

I was told last week by someone that I was "High Maintenance". I first took this as a joke, but when I realized that there was no humor in their voice, I became a tad offended. Me??? High Maintenance??? nah. So, I started thinking back....way back.....

About two years after I got married (I'll be married 17 years in December), I redecorated the kitchen of a house we had bought. It was all green & plum. I had a little glass bottle that sat by the sink that held my dish soap. One day I had run out & I sent my husband to get some. You know, this in itself, was a mistake. He came back with soap that was dark blue. Dark Blue! In a green & plum kitchen! What was he thinking???? I think I actually had a seizure. The matter was quickly rectified, and I had green soap in less than an hour.

About 2 years ago, I had run out of laundry detergent. I sent my darling husband to get some. "I don't want to," he says. "Why not?" I ask. "Because I'll just end up getting the wrong stuff." Apparently, after all these years, I've turned him into a paranoid shopper who can't pull anything off the shelf without my approval. So I tell him I use Tide. How on earth could he possibly go wrong with that? So, I get home from work and walk in the porch and see the Tide sitting there.....Fragrance Free Tide. You've got to be kidding me. So, I walk in the house, look at him straight in the face and ask, "When in the history of me have I ever bought anything fragrance free????" The matter was quickly rectified and I had Tide with a shitload of fragrance in less than an hour. I was also informed that after 15 years of marriage that my husband was never going to pick anything up at the store for me again.

So, we're sitting at the dinner table last Friday and I looked at Vaughn and asked, "Do you think I'm high maintenance?" He froze. I'm talking "deer in the headlights" froze. My daughter walks in, so I ask her. She chuckles and says (very sarcastically, I might add), "um, yeah". I ask her to tell me what she means. She says, "You bought me an Abercrombie tote last month because you wanted to implement name brands into my wardrobe. Dad took you quading a few weeks ago, and he had to wait until you put your makeup on. Do you want me to continue??" My son joins in and says, "You make dad drive 4 hours so you can go to Ikea just to get napkins." So, I proceed to defend myself by saying, "There are no good napkins in this stupid town!" Then, I'm guessing my husband finally thawed because, in the company of witnesses, he decided to contribute. "Look in the driveway. Look on your finger!" You see, I have a killer wedding set, but I have to explain that I never, ever asked for anything. I just simply state at one time or another that I want these things, and if he decides to go forward with getting them, that's purely up to him. And then he holds up the cutlery. I nearly shot him.

My daughter's friend came over this weekend to see the new car (yes, I got it....I actually sign the papers tomorrow). She looks at Amy & says, "Does your Mom have commitment issues with cars?" Okay, okay, it's my 3rd car in 2 years - sue me. My daughter, God bless her, looks at her friend and says, "My Mom has commitment issues with everything".

So, as we take my vehicle out of town this weekend so I can do a napkin run, I'll remember that as I don't get anything for the kids. And my husband should be overly grateful that I don't have a commitment issue with him. I realized that he was a keeper when a year went by & the novelty hadn't worn off.

So nice to know that my family's got my back.

Another one of my husband's favorite movies....I'm ashamed to say I watched it tonight with him for the jillionth time. Even more ashamed to say I laughed my ass off for the jillionth time. *sigh*
I think my husband is a bad influence.

Go figure

I'm a movie lover - not any specific type, I just love going to the movies. I married a man who sees no sense in it. He doesn't understand how a person would pay to go sit in uncomfortable seats, pay a fortune for snacks and not even be able to pause the show when nature calls. So, I usually end up going with one of the kids - or waiting until it comes on video, because that's the only way I can get Vaughn to watch it.
Until the other day....The preview for "Jackass Number Two", comes on tv. He cracks up laughing, looks at me and says, "Oh honey, we've got to go see that".

Amazing - all of the Oscar-worthy movies step aside....Johnny Knoxville, Party Boy, Steve-O, and Bam Margera are calling....where did I find this man of mine?

Intelligent thoughts of the day....

Hope everyone has a great day :o) Sorry, these comics make me smile - wanted to share them with all of you. Peace.

Decisions, decisions.....

Two years ago for my birthday, my husband took me down to the car dealership & told me to pick out a car.....I picked out a Vibe:

I should tell you that I had been nagging him for about a year for one. You know, it was the whole "Oh my God, honey! It's my favorite car EVER! Even if I won the lottery, I would want a Vibe!" So he surprised me... I picked one out (same color as above), test drove it, did the financing, and drove it off the lot...And I hated it. Don't get me wrong, I really like the car - I just hated the color from day one. You see, my dream is to own a silver vehicle ( a silver Land Rover, to be exact, but that's where the lottery comes in) - they didn't have silver, so my second choice was black. They had a black - with no air conditioning. Who in the hell wants a car with no air conditioning??? It gets hotter than the depths of hell here, and I'll be damned if I'm opening the windows with the shit that I've seen flying around in this city. So, I got this color - The official name is "Moonstone" - I saw "Gunmetal Grey". I'm not a "Gunmetal Grey" type of person......but I got it, and I've loathed it for 2 years.

I have been driving myself crazy as to the kind of car I want. So, a few weeks ago, it hit me. I wanted a Silver Tracker. Guess what??? They don't make them anymore! So, Vaughn took me down to the dealership tonight to show me an Equinox in the showroom. Gunmetal Grey. I looked out the window, and what do I see???? A silver one. He tells me it's used. I tell him that I don't care because it's silver.

So, I've driven it all over town, went to show my friend, Jayne & her husband, who loved it, and now I've got it sitting in my garage - I have until tomorrow evening to decide whether or not I want this new addition to my family. It's not a Tracker....It's definitely not a Land Rover....but it's silver. And it's pretty damn sweet.

20 years in the blink of an eye.........

20 years ago at 1:42am, I expericed the worst pain known to women.
Where did the time go? My baby girl is 20 years old today.

Amazing, how a girl almost 1/2 my age can be my best friend. What an astounding kid I have, ladies. She's the most stubborn, cranky, opinionated person that has ever existed. She would argue about the sun coming up in the morning.

I raised her to stand up for what she believed in - to fight to the ends of the earth for what she felt was right. I created this monster in my own image. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

20 years....gone in a blink. Wishing and amazing girl an amazing birthday.



Now, for your viewing pleasure, some pictures thru the years........

20 years ago

Today - some things never change, amy :o)

Amy then....

Amy today

Life is a Highway........

Well, Benjamin left yesterday....The supposedly "Bane of my existence" is gone. Amy is so sad - Her birthday is on Friday, so they had a going away/birthday party on Monday night and everything went awesome..poor girl...She is having such a hard time with this...

She did, however have the most amazing few months, and, he was absolutely amazing to her. I do feel though, that he is definitely a boy who has to be taken in small doses. I mean, it was fun, it was memorable, but he would most certainly constitute as "too much of a good thing"...And this is how I explained it to Amy:

Me: Remember that time when I craved egg salad sandwiches all the time? I couldn't get enough of them? I ate 2 or 3 of them a day, and after about 2 months I got so sick of them that I wanted to vomit? Remember that I couldn't even think of an egg without wanting to be sick?

Amy: Yeah

Me: Well, it was my favorite thing in the world, just like Ben is to you. But too much of my favorite thing made me puke. Benjamin is like egg salad.

Amy: But I don't really like egg salad.

(You have to realize that she was quite emotional during this conversation, and I was trying my best to put Benjamin's leaving in perspective, but she just wasn't getting it)

Me: Okay, maybe he's not egg salad for you. What's your favorite food?

Amy: Beef Taco Salad from Boston Pizza.

Me: Okay, Benjamin is your Beef Taco Salad.

Amy: But I don't think I like Beef Taco Salad that much....Can it be milk? I love milk. And you just know when you've had too much milk. Can Ben be like milk?

Me: Fine. He's milk. By this time, I've pretty much given up on the metaphors. Then Adam pipes in.

Adam: I don't get it.

See if I ever console anyone again. No one gets my logic.

Here are a couple of pics from Amy & Benjamin's Excellent Adventure. Happy trails. Thanks for the smile you put on my daughter's face. For that, I do love you.

12 Step Program....

I have a housewares addiction. Yes, I admit it. I'm not ashamed of it. I will work until the end of time to feed this addiction. I also feel that it's a genetic thing, as my Mother suffers from it as well.

I sat the other day and tried to think how many set of dishes I have owned in the almost 17 years I've been married, and I'm on my 12th set - This doesn't include the 4th set of Christmas dishes I'm on, but that's a whole other blog. Trust me. I couldn't even count (even though I really, really tried) how many bedding sets I've had, but I'm down to a summer one, a fall/winter one and my Christmas one. And then there's the vintage butter dish addiction I had a few years back - ebay was my best friend.

Anyway........about 2 months ago, I was shopping with Vaughn - he was shopping for God-knows-what, and I (as always) drifted to the housewares. I walked, surveyed the dishes, realizing that there wasn't anything that was catching my eye, so I strolled and strolled.....and then I came to an abrupt halt. Cutlery. I've been pretty good in this department, as I'm only on about my 6th set, so I'm pretty satisfied in that aspect. But I fell in love with this cutlery. And I started bellowing throughout the department store to Vaughn. He came running, and there I was, rubbing the cutlery.

"Oh honey, I love it!"
"It's impractical. The forks only have 3 prongs."
"Are you serious??? Oh, of course. You couldn't possibly get food on this fork with only 3 prongs - Everyone knows that the 4th prong is the most important. Jesus, what was I thinking?"
"Whatever - if you like it, get it."
"Never mind - I'll just covet it." And I think I actually whimpered a bit.

You see, I married a co-dependant spouse. I have a serious addiction and he feeds it. He has no addictions whatsoever, and he actually thinks I'm a little off kilter, but he loves me, and he permits me to be this way, so, technically it's all kind of his fault.

We've been to this store many, many times in the past few months, and I'm always drawn to this cutlery. He loses me in the store, because he always knows where to find me. I'm just there - standing - holding this cutlery and silently pouting.

So.....I come home from work on Friday night....All of my old cutlery is on the table. Me, thinking either Adam got sidetracked emptying the dishwasher, or he broke the cutlery drawer, walk into the kitchen. I open the drawer, and there it is....My new cutlery. I started squealing like a child and I jumped on him. I then looked at him and said, "You are so getting lucky tonight." My daughter almost vomit.

I love Vaughn - even though this really is all his fault.