House of MadameZ

this one's for you, kare

2009-02-17T21:28:00.005-07:00

I have so much to blog about and I promise I'll blog this week - I just wanted to post this because it made me think of Kare.

2009-02-10T07:14:00.000-07:00

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.

You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)

Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic

What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays

Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

2009-02-02T08:16:00.003-07:00

Karen called me last night - her daughter's water broke and they were on their way to the hospital!!! I'm anxiously anticipating a phone call!!!

Karen's gonna be a grandma!!!

update: It's a girl! Born shortly after midnight - 6lbs 7oz. Karen is so happy, I think she may steal her!!! Name is not offical yet, but I'm going to call her Layla. :o)

how i spent my jammie day

2009-01-26T07:40:00.005-07:00

After giving myself a much needed break from 'The Sopranos' (It's getting bad when I'm seriously considering whacking anyone who pisses me off - the fact that I use the term 'whacking' should be a warning in itself), after making Mickey Mouse waffles for Adam and his friend for breakfast I then figured I'd wrap up in a blanket and watch something a little lighter for a change. Besides, it has only been a month and I'm already 1/2 way through season 5.

'Ghost Town' was exactly how I thought it would be - Ricky Gervais was made for this character - at one point I laughed so hard, I actually cried. If you've seen the movie, you know which scene I'm talking about. 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', to me, was along the same humor as 'Superbad', '40 Year-Old Virgin' - funny, lame, and just what I needed.

Going on Day 5 of my diet and, as of Friday I was down 1.6lbs. Yesterday I had to pee so much, the normally 2 hour movies took about double the time to watch - I swear if I were a man I would think I had a prostate problem.

it's my best friend's birthday!!!

2009-01-23T06:53:00.004-07:00

Happy Birthday, Kare!!! I wish we could be closer today. I miss you so much. I hope you have an absolutely spectacular day - you deserve it. I love you!

confessions of a shopaholic...

2009-01-19T08:26:00.008-07:00

My main resolution this year was to be more frugal. You see, I'll be the first to admit that I have a little bit of a shopping problem. I'm an impulse buyer. I'm sure there has to be some type of support group I could join, but, I figured I'd try to go cold turkey - only the necessities. Nobody needs a closet for only purses & shoes....do they? Furniture can last longer than a year or two. I've got to stop living in the world of want and focus on what I actually need. After a ton of soul searching, I actually got nauseous thinking of the money I've wasted.

On Friday afternoon, while taking Adam to the book store, I stumbled into Stokes and celebrated my newfound economic maturity by purchasing these:

Let me just say (as it ALWAYS is with me), I absolutely loved these in the store. Loved, loved, loved. Once I got them home and they were washed & put in their temporary home that is my cupboard, all I could think was 'whatever.....they'll do for a few months'.

p.s. If you're wondering (you're probably not) why this dish set didn't come with mugs, well, they did - I just have no room for them, so they never even left the box. Allow me to show you a few shelves in my cabinet... You see, I have a weakness for mugs as well...

Help.

all work and no play makes darlene a dull girl.....

2009-01-12T08:13:00.004-07:00

This is my favorite mug - the mug I won't let anyone else use for fear that they will lose a limb. Inside this mug are the remains of my final egg nog latte of the season - taken Friday. No more until November. I think my heart dies a little each year.

My weekend consisted of my parents coming over Saturday for dinner. They leave on Wednesday and will be back in June for Adam's graduation. It was great seeing them, but, I don't know what it is about my mother - she drives me to the brink of insanity after 10 minutes of being in a room with her. I haven't decided if it's her tone of voice or some underlying unconscious resentment I have. Don't get me wrong, I love her. But, there's just something that makes me want to flail my arms and start shrieking madly whenever we get in the same room together.

Yesterday was a complete jammie day - I decided that I'm treating myself to one of these every week. I wrapped up in a blanket and finished season 3 of 'The Sopranos', while eating a shitload of pistachios washed down with an insane amount of caffeine-free diet coke. I couldn't imagine a better way to spend a day. However, I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I'm finished the complete series. I'm averaging a season a week, and with only 3 seasons to go, I figure I'll just go crazy. I tried to limit myself to only watching an episode or two on the weekends, but by Monday of last week, I was like a heroin addict. I was shoveling my dinner in me as quick as I could just so I could sit down to watch 'just one'. Needless to say, it's never just one, and I'm dreaming about it every night. I think I've become obsessed.

I'm a complete winter person. Just ask anyone. However, I can honestly say, without remorse, that I'm totally sick of the cold. In the 26 years that I've lived in this city, I've never experienced a winter like this. With the temperatures -30 or colder every day since the end of November and the days being so short, I'm slowly going batshit crazy - I'm starting to feel like Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining'.

2008-12-31T18:12:00.004-07:00

Our plans for the evening consisted of Vaughn, Adam & I playing the CSI dvd game that Santa brought me. However, Adam informed me this afternoon that he had other ideas and is now spending the night at a friend's house. So, Vaughn has gone to pick us up dinner, I'm in my jammies and we'll be watching more 'Sopranos'. Sounds like a fantastic evening!

Happy New Year to you and your families, and all the best in 2009!

woke up this morning, got yourself a gun....

2008-12-30T07:42:00.008-07:00

So, Santa was great this year - I got the complete series of 'The Sopranos' and have had serious dreams of organized crime for 4 nights. I never watched the series - not even one episode. But, when the commercials used to come on, I'd always say that I wish I had started watching it. I'm enjoying it so much.

Christmas was great this year - My Mom & Dad flew up and are staying until 14 January. Notice the normalcy of what is my family. Once again, another 'licking' picture to circulate the web.

Porkchop on Christmas morning - She's not so crazy about the insanity of the holidays. But she loves treats.

I love having my parents here - I love it even more that they're staying at my brother's.

Adam wore this under his sweatshirt on Christmas Day & told his friend, Katherine that he had something to show her. He lifted up his hoodie and she said yes! It's amazing to think my son would have been a stylish gangster - the suit he picked out for his graduation has been worn by just about every mobster in 'The Sopranos' - black, double breasted with pinstripes, and the hat with the feather to top it all off. So cool.

no man is a failure who has friends....

2008-12-23T22:03:00.004-07:00

This is the one thing I look forward to most every year - watching this on Christmas Eve. As I have for the past 20 years, I swear every time I won't cry, and every year it moves me more than the year before. (Can you believe it, Kare? I actually cried. hahaha) We watched it this evening instead because Amy managed to get tomorrow off work so she's flying up in the morning!!! I'm so happy.

Here's wishing you and your families a very safe and happy holiday. May you be blessed with love, and much happiness.

2008-12-22T08:13:00.009-07:00

Okay, so it's not a hurricane, it's not a tsunami, it may not even be the end of the world. But, believe me, it's a disaster for me.

I was getting ready for work this morning, and, as I always do, I dry my hair, put on my makeup, and as I'm sectioning my hair, I turn on my flat iron. However, this morning, it would not work. After about 15 minutes of panicked attempts of pressing the 'reset' button, Vaughn woke up & my eyes were filled with tears. When I told him what was happening, he immediately took out his tools to try and fix it. Poor guy - he took one look at my head and knew he had to perform a miracle. When that didn't work, he took out the soldering iron to try and make a connection in the wires. Nope. Nothing.

When I say I have naturally curly hair, its kind of an understatement. I mean, if I had intended on wearing my hair curly today, it probably would have looked great, because I have corkscrew curl - but it takes a LOT of work to make it look good. I have to use a ton of product and a diffuser. When I'm intending on wearing my hair straight, I just turn my head upside down and wait until the hair dryer does it's job. The result is that I look like a mixture between Gene Simmons and Don King. That's when my flat iron does it's magic.

So, here I am, having had to use a bottle of shine and a curling iron to straighten this nest on my head - all so I can look presentable enough to make it to the hair salon to purchase another straightener before I have to go to work.

Just to give you an idea of what my hair is like, allow me to share a few photos of my childhood. When my mother took me for my 1st haircut, the hairdresser couldn't even get a comb through my hair. She had to grab it in clumps and cut it right to the skull. I looked like a little boy for years. Needless to say, I have total hair issues.

decorations & dogs.........

2008-12-19T18:49:00.008-07:00

I got this ornament at Liberace's museum in Las Vegas in July - it doesn't matter where I go, I'll scope out ornaments anywhere. It's my Christmas 2008 favorite.

Porkchop's friend, Winston came over with his human for a visit last week. As you can tell by the photo, Porkchop was not too impressed with the visitor. He likes to sniff her bum and she wants nothing to do with it.

This was taken after Winston finally left. She was exhausted, having to dodge his nose for three hours.

Our Charlie Brown Christmas tree this year.

Have a wonderful weekend!!!!

urinetown

2008-12-10T07:24:00.007-07:00

at the makeup table

in costume

Adam & Luay aka Mr. Cladwell & Officer Lockstock

I'll be the 1st to admit that I was a little skeptical about Adam's drama club performing this musical. I figured, if anything else, the name alone would turn people off from seeing it. Boy was I wrong. It was absolutely fantastic. They performed 'Cats' last year, and while I appreciated the professionalism and the talent of the play, 'Urinetown' totally blew it right out of the water. It was the most entertaining show I'd ever been to.

Adam's character, Caldwell B. Cladwell, was the token 'bad guy', and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but my son was the best asshole (his interpretation, not mine - okay, maybe mine too) in the history of high school musicals. It was phenomenal. They had 7 performances and I made it to three. I even bought out an entire row last Friday for family & coworkers. I'm so proud, I can't even stand it.

picture this....

2008-12-02T21:07:00.009-07:00

I saw this painting in a store back in September or October and was instantly attracted to it. I knew it was probably too big for my dining room, so, as always, I sent a picture to Kare and anxiously waited for her opinion. She liked it, told me I should buy it (yes, she's a terrific influence), so I did. I brought it home, Vaughn hung it on the wall, and from that moment on, it gave me the creeps. I don't know if it was the fact that none of the people had faces, but it was giving me nightmares. Seriously. I didn't know what to do.

Then one evening while I was in a furniture store with Vaughn, I came across another painting. I swear, angels began to sing when I looked at it. It was much bigger than the already too big creepy painting, but I loved it right away. I made myself comfortable on a couch while Vaughn went looking at big screen tv's and once again sent the picture to Kare. We had a long, wonderful conversation while I laid on the couch, and I contemplated whether or not I should buy it. I mean, it had only been a few weeks since the creepy painting episode, so I figured I'd lay off the impulse buys and give it some time. I walked in about 3 weeks later and there it was. I took it as a sign.

I'll be the first to admit that I have a shopping problem, but I kind of blame Kare. Even living 8 hours away, she still helps me feed my addiction. I miss her every day.

alrighty then......

2008-11-19T09:20:00.002-07:00

Well, this would be a bit of an exaggeration, but when I dropped Netter's package off at the post office yesterday, after the lady weighed it, she literally tossed it onto the back counter. I looked at her and said, "Ummm....That's 'fragile'. Can you please put some fragile stickers on it?" She walked over, put a few stickers on it, and as the mail carrier was walking out of the back room with all the parcels, she once again, took mine and tossed it on the back of the trolley. The only thing that I could muster was, "Are you fucking kidding me?" She just looked at me and said, "Well, it's insured, right?" and then laughed.

I hate this city. hate. hate. hate.

2008-11-17T08:02:00.003-07:00

Ever get the feeling that it's gonna be one of 'those' days? I miss Amy today. I miss Kare today. I want to call in sick & drink coffee all day, but there's no Amy or Kare to play hooky with.

and the winner is.....

2008-11-14T18:25:00.002-07:00

Seriously, people - I can't make this shit up.

Since I had a whole bunch of Partylite, I figured I'd draw 2 names. So, I put all the names in my bucket - every time you made a comment since last week, your name went in the draw. I drew the 1st name:

Netter

This lady has won every draw I've ever had, so I chuckled. Then I drew name 2:

Netter

Are you seeing a connection here? ahhaha That woman has a hex on me.

Congratulations!!!!!

I Do.....Again

2008-11-12T18:12:00.003-07:00

Every young girl fantasizes about her dream wedding. You know, big poofy gown, lots of people, jillions of flowers.... My dream was a little different. I always wanted to be married by an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas. Because I got married quite young and my parents paid for everything, they totally dissed the idea, so we settled for a semi-traditional wedding which I despised (read a previous blog-rant here).

With our 20th anniversary in 2009, Vaughn suggested that I finally make my dream come true. We're taking the kids to Vegas and we're renewing our vows at Graceland Wedding Chapel!!! Finally, I'm getting my dream wedding....and I get to marry my dream man all over again.

2008-11-10T20:26:00.003-07:00

Has anyone read 'Twilight' yet? I started reading it Friday evening, and finished it on Saturday. It was quite entertaining and terribly romantic. I'm looking forward to starting the 2nd book in the series, even though it was recommended by my 15 year old niece, and I'm most certain was intended for teenage eyes.

There's one thing, however, that bugs me. After I read the book, I went to youtube to watch the movie trailer. In the book, the main character, Edward Cullen, is described as this breathtakingly beautiful specimen of a man/vampire. You can just visualize him as this dark, mysterious, topaz-eyed hunk. The female character talks about every time she looks at him, her heart races, and she forgets to breathe.

How on earth did they choose Robert Pattinson to play Edward Cullen? I mean, don't get me wrong, he's certainly not hideous by any means. But, in my mind, he was stunning beyond belief. If anyone has read it, I'd enjoy your feedback.

Oopsie....

2008-11-06T16:17:00.002-07:00

After I picked up Adam from school today, I went into the drugstore to get him refills for his toothbrush, on account of the fact he's using a new brush tip every 2-3 weeks because his braces rip through everything. Adam waited in the car. He knows never to go into the drugstore with me because 'I'm just going to pick up one thing' is never the case. I smell the new perfumes, check out the magazines, buy some makeup, etc, etc, etc.

I do my Almond M&M check as I'm walking by the candy aisle & I clean the store out of the 9 bags that are there. As I'm walking back to the car and fumbling with the m&m bag, trying to get it opened, I grabbed the handle & yanked the door open. I think it was the man's scream that prompted me to look up. I had walked to the wrong car, opened the wrong door, scared the crap out of the poor man waiting for his wife & lost 1/2 bag of my m&m's onto his lap in the process.

Thing I learned today - ALWAYS WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

CONTEST!!!!

2008-11-05T08:19:00.004-07:00

Have any of you ever been to a Partylite party? Well, let me just tell you that I've hosted many and have been to more than I could even count. I have blanket chests that have so many candles that there is no room for blankets.

I over-indulged at the last party I went to about a month ago, so now I'm going to have a giveaway! Every person's comment for the next week will be added to a jar & I'll draw the name next Friday!

happy halloween!

2008-10-31T16:16:00.004-06:00

This was me at work today - I swear, I'm game for dressing up anytime.
Notice the 'Hitmen' hockey jersey - a Calgary team owned by the man himself, Bret Hart. *big sigh* I painted on the black eye, but Vaughn offered to give me one for free. All I said to him is 'Go ahead, but you'd better pray that I don't get back up'. I guess I didn't think this whole costume up so well, because I realized too late that hockey pants aren't meant to be worn while driving a car. It felt like I was wearing armor, which would probably be a good thing if I were a real hockey player.

It's almost 4:30pm & I'm expecting the kids to start showing up pretty soon, so I'd better get the treats ready by the door.

Have a Happy Halloween!

my latest read....

2008-10-28T15:34:00.004-06:00

My favorite niece, Kaylee (my brother's daughter) is sleeping over for 3 nights, along with her dog, Sparkles. This is her absolute favorite book so she brought it to me and insisted I read it. I've seen a few trailers for the upcoming movie in November, and it looks pretty interesting. I'm a sucker (pardon the pun) for love stories and vampires so I figure I'll start it this weekend... Has anyone else had a chance to read it?

2008-10-25T18:22:00.000-06:00

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

2008-10-25T10:01:00.002-06:00

Desperate Housewife & Peter have been having some fun at my expense. See if I ever lick something when there's a camera around again....Who would have thought my tongue would become this famous?

this one's for rue as well....

2008-10-20T09:08:00.003-06:00

How adorable would netter's niece look in this? Enter the contest, and if you don't know a girl that would enjoy it, I know netter does!

size does matter....

2008-10-17T16:40:00.008-06:00

When I'm with Amy, every situation is a photo opportunity....even in Costco.

Imagine my surprise when I notice I'd been tagged on Facebook.... I forgot about this picture - I wish she had too.

Oh well, with all the jumbo sized items, I guess this really could have been worse.

Really.

who's the boss....

2008-10-15T21:34:00.008-06:00

Every morning I wake up at 5:20am (over an hour before everyone else), just so I can shower, make coffee, get ready for the day, in peace. I'm not sure if I do this every day for the safety of myself or others, as it's been clinically proven that I will bludgeon anyone who comes into contact with me before I've showered and had at least had 4-5 gulps of caffeine. Anyway, back to my story.

Anyone who knows me knows my love for Miss Porkchop. However, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not her favorite human. Sure, she loves me, but in a different way than anyone else. We've discovered that she thinks she's Adam's mother, as she protects him, sits on his lap to 'help' him with his homework, wakes him up in the morning, and nags him by burrowing and licking until he finally gets out of bed.

As for Amy, well, she's her wrestling buddy. When she and Amy 'play', there are sounds that come out of my little Angel of a dog that are more resemblant of a rabid hyena than the little princess that I claim she is. I always yell, "Cut it out! She's just a little girl!" But, there Porkchop is, jumping on Amy's lap, waiting for more.

My role in Porkchop's life is her companion, aka, her pain in the ass. You see, I'm the one who can't stand it if she's just sleeping there. I have to go up and hug her, kiss her, scratch her, pick her up, and just basically, piss her off. Sure, she loves me to death. When I come home, she cries with joy and rolls instantly on her back so I can maul her. I still tell her every day (about a million times) that I love her more than anything, and that she's the greatest part of every day. However, she usually lays there, taking it all in, giving me the stink-eye the entire time.

And then there's Vaughn. To Porkchop, the sun shines right out of his ass. She follows him wherever he goes, whether it be to the kitchen to get a drink, or to the bathroom. Sometimes at night, he'll wake up to go downstairs and if she wakes up and he's not there, she'll start to cry. When he comes back to bed (about 30 seconds later), she jumps on him and kisses him like he's a long lost soldier that came back from 30 years at war. As you can see from this picture, he is sitting on the couch and she's buried herself right behind him. She sleeps directly on top of him, and I know that if it were up to her, I'd be sleeping on the couch. I know this to be a fact, because when I get out of the shower every morning, I tiptoe into the bedroom to kiss her good morning. There's never any glee or joy to see me. Want to know what I walk into? My darling dog buried under the blankets laying on the pillow peacefully sleeping - on my side of the bed. Heaven forbid if I was ever considering getting back in.
I couldn't possibly ever get mad at her. I still love her to the point that I can't stop picking on her - no matter how cheezed she gets at me. She was and will always be Porkchop the Wonder Dog - Princess of Greatness. My little angel right from heaven.

2008-10-14T05:59:00.003-06:00

Who doesn't need a quilt? At Pigtails and Snails, she's giving away an absolutely beautiful, original, handmade quilt! Check it out & enter your name!

happy thanksgiving!!!

2008-10-13T10:10:00.004-06:00

We had our Thanksgiving dinner yesterday, and, as usual, I overloaded my plate and smothered everything in gravy. If you look closely you'll notice one thing missing from my plate and that's turkey. I love everything about a big dinner, but there's always so many other things to eat, I never have meat until the big sandwiches on Vaughn's famous homemade bread the next day.

It was a quiet day for us - Amy couldn't come home & I had been battling a migraine all weekend, so Vaughn got up and prepared the turkey (which, to me, is the most disgusting chore of all time), so all I did was peel the veggies and make the stuffing. It was much smaller in scale than it usually is, but, with only the 3 of us, it was just right. I left the fancy dishes in the cabinet & it was pretty laid back - we all ate dinner in our jammies and watched movies.

Happy Thanksgiving !

these are a few of my favorite things....

2008-10-06T09:27:00.002-06:00

Amy's friend, Jamie (and my guinea pig for the nail course) dropped over last week on my birthday, while I was at work. Amy called me afterwards...

Amy: Mom, when are you coming home?
Me: I'm on my way. Why?
Amy: Jamie brought you a present.
Me: A present??? Yay! What is it?
Amy: I'm not telling you. Come home and see.
Me: Can you give me a hint?
Amy: Okay. It combines 2 of your favorite things.
Me: Almond M&M's and Ricky Martin?
Amy: Goodbye, Mom.

It wasn't either of those things....It was a Christmas ornament of a lighthouse - two of the other things that I love.

karma...

2008-10-04T08:25:00.002-06:00

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/10/04/sot.oj.verdict.ap

2008-09-23T17:45:00.003-06:00

Now there's a shock. Nobody saw this one coming. I think that this alone is the reason the media drives me crazy. I guess this is what you sign up for when you decide to become a celebrity...or whatever it is you'd call Clay Aiken.

2008-09-22T08:54:00.008-06:00

*note the sarcasm in my voice* Thank you, desperate housewife. Since I saw the flip flops she purchased this summer, I have become L.L. Bean obsessed. The new catalog came on Friday and I ordered 5 sweaters, 2 pairs of slippers, a pair of jammies & toys for Porkchop. Please make it stop.

I finally found a vanity & sink for our bathroom - however, because we apparently live in Russia, there wasn't any in stock (huge surprise), I have to special order it. They say there's a possibility it could be here by next week, but by the tone of the salesperson's voice, I'm assuming it's probably closer to sometime next year. Looks like I'll have to take a trip down the highway to get anything quicker. Besides, there's a new exhibit coming to the Space & Science center that Adam is going to die for, so we'll have to get to Edmonton anyway:

Stole this quiz from lucy - Have a great day, everyone.

What Darlene Means

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

2008-09-20T10:16:00.005-06:00

I'm so excited that this is coming out on DVD on Tuesday! I do, however, hate Big & think she should have ended up with Aiden, but, aside from that, I was a huge fan and never missed one episode. I haven't found a show like this one since.

Update: Checked this out on Kare's blog. I think I drink too much coffee...

a quick read & a movie

2008-09-13T18:35:00.009-06:00

I read this book about a week ago - a quick read, but so humorous. I love Billy Crystal's interpretation of his family and his upbringing. However, it was much more enjoyable when I was visualizing his family speaking in their Jewish/New York accents.

Adam is at a friend's for the day, and I had recorded this on the PVR awhile ago, so after shopping for a new vanity for the bathroom (story about this to follow....), we had a few hours to kill. Depressing, heartbreaking, and, I'll admit, when it finally hit Halle Berry's character that her husband was gone, her breakdown brought tears to my eyes. And Benicio del Toro? Well, he's just amazing in anything he stars in.

Now...to the new vanity in the bathroom.... Amy came up to surprise me last Sunday, because her birthday was Monday & my heart was broken. We had a ton of kids here (and by kids, I mean, her 21-23 year old friends that will always be kids to me)... Anyway, I always have a candle lit in the bathroom on the corner of the vanity. I have for the 12 years we've lived here. One of her friends (of course, nobody went to the bathroom) washed their hands and dropped the towel on the candle and set my bathroom on fire. Thankfully, it was caught early and the only major damage was the vanity. Once the shock wore off, I realized it was time for a bathroom overhaul anyway.

Have a wonderful weekend. :o)

acting, singing & other bodily functions....

2008-09-07T11:20:00.002-06:00

I'll admit, I was a little surprised at the high school's choice of musical this year, but nonetheless, Adam auditioned for it, and guess what? He got the lead!!! I don't know who was more excited!

Rehearsals start today, and for the next 3 months, it's going to be insane for him. It's usually about 15 hours a week (after school & on weekends) up until two weeks before the play, and then it's 30-35 hours a week. On top of that, they then have 8 performances. Isn't that crazy?

My son is a natural performer. He claims to be a shy person, but when he gets on stage, he shines. He's definitely found his calling. I'm so proud of him. :o)

2008-09-04T16:21:00.010-06:00

I walked into Ikea last weekend to get these:

And, I walked out with this:
After almost 19 years of marriage I finally was able to rid myself of the very last 'hand-me-down' piece of furniture that we owned. I'm not quite sure as to why we hung onto our old china cabinet for so long, as I can honestly say it was the ugliest eyesore EVER. Geez, I've been through 5 dining room tables, 4 living room sets, and at least 12 sets of dishes since we got that cabinet from my parents. Since we threw out the old one, I've come to the conclusion that I don't actually hate my house anymore. I'm not in love with the new one, but, with the amount of stuff I have, it was the one that held the most and kept everything semi-hidden. Like I said to Vaughn, anything was better than what we had.

when did this happen???

2008-09-03T07:11:00.004-06:00

There are certain things that were cool in the '80s, but, at the same time, they were styles that should be kept in the '80s. One of them is the legwarmer. Don't get me wrong, I had pairs of these in every color. When I opened the Sears sale catalogue yesterday, I see these. When I mentioned this to Kare, she basically told me to save my money & she would knit me some. Parachute pants, legwarmers, lace ribbon in the hair & Michael Jackson gloves are all things that are to be left in our memories & in bad twenty year old photos.

my guilty indulgence

2008-08-27T15:35:00.002-06:00

Okay, so I'm not a fan of reality television at all and it seems that every channel you turn to has nothing but these days. While I do like the show "Greatest American Dog", I'm assuming it's because I always like to think that Porkchop would win hands down if she were ever to get a chance to be on the show (which is a bold-faced lie, but a girl can dream, can't she?)

I missed the beginning of "Gossip Girl" when it premiered last September, but when the season ended in May or June, they proceeded to start from the beginning for the entire summer to lead up to Season Two next week. I haven't missed an episode (and, even though he'll deny it under oath, I've caught Vaughn watching as well). I'm so excited for Monday, I can hardly contain myself. In case of emergency, TiVo is on standby.

You know you love me.
XOXO

;o)

2008-08-26T11:11:00.005-06:00

Yesterday was full of activity - the day began with school registration for Adam. After much emotion this past week, everything ran smoothly. I can't believe that, aside from college, he's getting ready for his last 1st day of school. I've spent quite a bit of time going through old baby pictures and his baby book ("Holy crap, Mom - you save EVERYTHING!"). Once we made our appointment to fix his schedule, he had to pick out a locker. He settled on this one:

As well, it was little Miss Porkchop's 4th birthday yesterday!!!

She got loads of toys & chewies for her birthday - She took a liking to the stuffed bird that's laying right next to her (we haven't decided if it's a turkey, a duck, or a goose, so we call it the 'stuffed fowl'), until she bit it & it squawked. It scared the crap out of her, and she ran as far away from it as she could.

So...about me living in a world of denial

2008-08-21T07:03:00.005-06:00

Ricky Martin is now the proud father of twins, via surrogate. Hands down, he's the best looking man on the face of this earth (well, in my top 5, at least). When I die, I wish to be reincarnated as a gay man.

RIP

2008-08-19T19:21:00.005-06:00

I did a post a while back on Randy Pausch. I guess I haven't kept as up to date with current events as I normally do, because as I was sitting at the salon today, waiting to get my nails done, I grabbed People magazine and read that he passed away on 25 July. My heart broke.

If you haven't already, you absolutely must read his book. It will completely change your outlook on life. Here's a link to his site. What a phenomenal man, and an inspiration to us all.

Below is the last speech he made at Carnegie Mellon University on 18 May:

The Bookshelf

2008-08-18T08:22:00.005-06:00

I read this book a few weeks ago - picked it up in a sales bin. Not terribly amazing. Just alright.

Before Kare moved, she gave me a bunch of books - This is the one I'm reading right now. I'm about half way through & I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

Won't you be my neighbor???

2008-08-14T21:07:00.003-06:00

So I'm sitting in the living room this evening, playing with Porkchop on the couch. It's a beautiful warm day & I have the patio doors open. All of a sudden the smell of skunk comes wafting in. It's so strong that even Porkchop starts to get antsy. I start yelling, "Holy shit, what in the hell is that stink? Did a skunk die in our backyard???" Vaughn silences me quick by informing me that it's our neighbors, sitting on their deck. Smoking weed.

I felt so old - I remember a time when I could spot that smell a mile away. In a sense, I'm happy it was them smoking all the dope - I would have hated having to pick up rodent carcass.

Vegas Vacation - Part 1

2008-08-11T20:20:00.024-06:00

I think I may have a few excuses as to why I haven't posted holiday pics yet - My MacBook is a piece, and posting a ton of pictures on a blog is a major pain in the ass. I came right back from holidays and started my nail course the very next day - and then it was back to work.

Anyway, enough of my complaining - here are some photos of the trip:

Me - winning $1.97 on the Star Wars penny slots

Our beautiful hotel room at the New York New York Hotel & Casino

The great jacuzzi in our room!

Yummy slushie drinks from Coyote Ugly - I was drunk after only a quarter of the drink

Liberace Museum - I LOVED it here!!! Vaughn & I were about 20-30 years younger than the other people on the tour

Some of Liberace's costumes

Vaughn with the talking tree at the Rainforest Cafe in the MGM Grand - when the tree started talking to him, his expression just froze. This is my funniest picture of the whole trip.

M&M store - Four stories of EVERYTHING M&Ms - however, I couldn't buy bulk almond M&Ms and my heart died a little

Well, this was an experience, to say the least. Not what Vaughn & I expected, but it certainly was entertaining

Me, with a Klingon at the Star Trek Experience in the Hilton. ahahah And to think, I don't even like Star Trek. I'm serious. However, this was one of the greatest parts of our trip.

Me, with a Borg & a Klingon. AHAHAH

Elvis statue outside the Hilton. God Bless Elvis, that's all I have to say - I have to get to Graceland.

Emeril's!!! Hands down, I had the best meal of my life here - My next post will be a complete food blog. I took pictures of everything I ate.

Excalibur Hotel - so pretty at night

One of the many Criss Angel bikes on display at the Luxor

Luxor

Outside our hotel

Our hotel again

Vaughn & I on the Grand Staircase at the Titanic Exhibit in the Tropicana Hotel (what a hole) - this picture didn't turn out so great because we weren't allowed to take pictures in there, so this is a scanned pic that we had to buy.

Another 'purchased picture' of Vaughn & I at Emeril's.

The trip was absolutely fantastic - and so hot! However, I realized that I loved the heat, because there were no bugs whatsoever. I can't wait to go again.

Stay tuned for the upcoming food blog.

Have a great evening, everyone! Peace.

I'm leaving on a jet plane.....

2008-07-18T15:45:00.003-06:00

Today was my last day of work for 10 days! We leave Sunday at 6:30 in the morning for Las Vegas. We've got a lot of stuff planned so it should be a whole lot of fun. However, seeing it's the middle of summer and we'll be in the middle of the desert, It'll be a jillion degrees. Who's genius idea was it to go to Vegas in the middle of summer? Oh wait. Kare, wish you were still coming - I'll think of you every day.

I'll take a ton of pictures, as I'm the queen of touristy things - Vaughn says the locals can spot me a mile away.

They Came!!!

2008-07-15T15:59:00.004-06:00

Once again, ignore the crappy picture quality from my handy-dandy cell phone. I saw these whale flip flops on the left on Desperate Housewife's blog and I totally fell in love with them. I had to order a pair for my daughter because she's a complete whale fanatic. And....seeing I was ordering a pair for her, I decided to get myself a pair as well....And then I celebrated by getting a pair with lobsters on them!

Just in time for holidays! Yay!

2008-07-14T20:43:00.005-06:00

After 6 or 7 years of having my nails done, I've finally bit the bullet and registered for the nail course. Classes begin the day after I get back from Las Vegas next week.

I need two guinea pigs (and by guinea pigs, I mean models, of course), and my model for day 2 & day 4 (27 July & 10 August) had to bail. Anyone interested? Heck, I'll do your nails for free till the end of time!

Please? Anyone??

Update: 5 minutes later.... Wow, that didn't take long at all. Enticing Amy's friends with free gel/acrylic nails for life was apparently all it took. If I had known it was going to be that easy, I would have just offered a bottle of Jagermeister & a pack of smokes.

2008-07-07T07:38:00.004-06:00

My intent on Saturday morning was to sit and read a few chapters of this book with my morning coffee. Needless to say, the rest of my day was a write off - aside from the coffee refills and the occasional pee breaks, I didn't get up until I was finished.

Anyone that's an animal lover (which I wasn't, until Porkchop entered my life), will enjoy John Grogan's story of how, with a pet, we may not always get what we're expecting, but we realize that the unexpected challenges are better and often more rewarding than we had ever anticipated.

There were many times while reading this, I actually burst out laughing, but, also, times when I cried so much, I had to take a break because the tears were blinding me (Me? Cry? Now there's something you don't see every day).

If you've already read this, you know where I'm coming from. If you haven't, go buy it. Oh, and one more thing, if you have a pet, give him or her a hug today, and don't ever forget to tell them how great they are.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

2008-07-03T17:21:00.003-06:00

When Adam & I got home a few days ago, I opened the mailbox and there was a card from the post office saying that there was a parcel waiting for me.

Me: Parcel? What parcel? Who's sending me a parcel?

Adam: Maybe you ordered something and it's here, or somebody sent you a present.

Me: I didn't order anything! And who would be sending me a present?

Adam: Geez, Mom, I don't know. Think. Did you order anything lately?

Me: I ordered 'Backstreet Boys' tickets...

Adam: Well, I don't think that would come as a parcel, Mom.

Me: (squealing) Maybe they sent me a Backstreet Boy!!!

He rolled his eyes and walked away. Story of my life.

Have a good evening, everyone. Peace.

Do Not Pass 'Go' - Do Not Collect $200

2008-06-26T19:48:00.007-06:00

So, I live in a city that is comprised, like many cities, of various areas - let's call them 'communities within the city'.... Allow me to share with you some excitement that's going on here today.

My 'community' has been in lockdown since approximately 4pm this afternoon. There have been shootings and there are helicopters flying overhead and police cars everywhere. I just looked out my back window and there are police men with the dogs out.... We have been advised to stay locked in our houses. Our 'community' is up on a hill and the police have it barricaded so no one can enter or exit our area.

If this isn't bad enough, want to know what could be worse? Vaughn is on the other side. He can't make it home. Nothing like this has happened in our area before - it sucks even more knowing that half your family isn't with you when it does.

This is hitting way to close to home for us. I'm scared.

Update: Lockdown lifted 5 1/2 hours later.

Things that make me happy right now

2008-06-25T07:31:00.006-06:00

- My passport came in & Vaughn booked our holiday for Vegas in July!!!

- Adam's last final exam is today & then he's off for the summer!!!

- We've cut Porkchop's anxiety medication in half, so she not a 'coma dog' anymore!!!

- Amy & I got Backstreet Boys tickets!!!

- I'm drinking a 4 shot vanilla latte!!!

Have a great day, everyone! Peace.

Update: 5 minutes later. Okay, so I think I may have spoken too soon about Porkchop no longer being a 'coma dog'. No, people, this is not the same picture I posted last week - as you can see, her eyes are open. This was taken (with my stupid cell phone) just a few minutes ago:

2008-06-23T08:59:00.004-06:00

I read this book on my way back from Edmonton yesterday. I had seen Randy Pausch on 'Oprah'; as well, I watched the full video on YouTube. This man is truly inspiring. If you haven't seen the lecture, I will copy it below. When I finished it, my husband looked at me and asked, "Is it a book I should read?", all I could reply was, "It's a book everyone should read."

If you have about 45 minutes to spare, I strongly recommend watching this lecture. The man is an inspiration to us all. The book goes into a lot more detail regarding the lecture - things he was unable to say on stage.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

Stress, Music, Prizes and the Open Sea....

2008-06-19T18:25:00.004-06:00

Little Miss Porkchop didn't have a great day. It was her annual vet visit - as well, she was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. You see, my little girl is scared of everything. Her biggest fears are buzzing insects, planes, wind whistling through the house and thunder storms. We've always known it's been bad, but for the past few weeks we've been having terrible storms & between Vaughn and I, we've pretty much been on a constant vigil with her. She shakes and hyperventilates so badly, we've come to the fear that eventually she'll end up having a heart attack. So, my girl will now be on medication for the rest of her life. My heart breaks for her - we try to make her feel so safe & secure, but I hope that now she won't be so tormented by everything.

We are moving Amy to Edmonton in the morning, which is only 4 hours away. Looking forward to getting some shopping done! As well, Vaughn sold his boat & ordered a new one that we're picking up on Saturday. He's like a 10 year old before Christmas.

Tomorrow morning at 10am, tickets go on sale for the Backstreet Boys on 31 August. Amy & I are so excited! We'll be driving down the highway dialing Ticketmaster like two crazy people. I think I'll pee in my pants if we get good seats.

Stay tuned for a contest next week!

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

Irish men ROCK

2008-06-18T07:34:00.004-06:00

Has anyone seen this movie? I rented it about a month or so ago on a Friday evening. About half way through it Vaughn told me he was turning it off because I was crying. Okay, maybe crying isn't the appropriate word - I was wailing. You know that cry when you're hyperventilating, and you let out the occasional squeal? That was me. It was so sad, I was still crying on Sunday. I vowed never to watch it again.

Last week while Adam was at school, Amy expressed an interest in the movie, so I jumped up and popped it into the DVD player (I never learn)... I pretty much started crying instantly, but Amy was surprisingly quiet. After about 45 minutes, I asked her if she was enjoying the movie - and then the flood gates opened. She had been holding it in to try to make a point that I'm a big baby, but she just let go and screamed, "Oh my God, I want to DIE!!!"

I can't imagine anyone leaving this movie & not being touched in some way. *sigh* So romantic.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

Worldwide Knit in Public Day...Saturday, 14 June

2008-06-17T07:40:00.006-06:00

I'll go anywhere - even if I don't knit....

I grabbed Kare's throw that she's making for Danielle's grad and said, "Take a picture of me pretending to knit!" (I kinda look like a pro, don't I??)

My favorite friend :o)

Guess who actually won a prize?

Okay, this is me actually knitting.

Not sure what it was supposed to be, but I did it!!!! Kare was so proud I thought she was going to cry.

Randomness

2008-06-13T08:38:00.003-06:00

1) What's more painful than getting a tattoo? Getting a tattoo touch-up. Remember last September when I got Vaughn's initials tattooed on my wrist? Well, it was touched-up yesterday, and it hurt so bad. I even called my tattoo guy a bastard. I was told at that point that touch-ups are always more painful. Way to not send me THAT memo until it was too late.

2) Why haven't I won the lottery yet?

3) A few books I've read over the past month or so:

And the two I'm in the process of reading now:

4) I'm planning on going to that 'World Wide Knit in Public Day' with Kare tomorrow if she's still going... No, I don't knit, but I support knitters everywhere.... as well, I love reaping the benefits of having a best friend that's a knitter. I'll take pictures!

5) God Bless Bret Hart. Amen.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

2008-06-11T08:21:00.006-06:00

I loved this guy on American Idol. He was my favorite right from the auditions. Aside from looking like he was going to vomit, he did an absolutely amazing job with the national anthem last night.

Now, allow me to share a picture I took of Porkchop napping yesterday afternoon. Couldn't find my camera, so had to use the crappy one on my cell phone:

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

Practical AND Fashionable

2008-06-10T08:21:00.002-06:00

Anyone who knows me, knows my love for Miss Porkchop. I hate to be away from her, so these past months have been great in the sense that I'm off work and I can spend all this time with her.

Now it's boating season & Vaughn wants to be on the lake every chance he can get. I don't want to be leaving her every weekend, and it worries me that if I brought her on the boat, something would happen & she wouldn't be able to get to shore.

I mentioned to Kare that I wanted to find her a lifejacket. After an unnecessary amount of laughter (on her part), I think I made her see the light. Unlike her two dogs (whom I LOVE), Porkchop isn't as ummmm.... self sufficient. She's not the outdoorsy type at all, and she is purely for decorative purposes only.

When Kare was out of town a few weeks ago, she came home with a present for my little girl:

It took a lot of coaxing to get her into it, but once it was on, her tail started wagging. Just one problem, though. She wouldn't move. She just stood there. Frozen.

Either way, I'm going to make a sailor out of this girl. All she needs now is the little hat & we'll be set.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

No, people, I am not dead

2008-06-09T08:28:00.010-06:00

So, here I am - blogging for the 1st time in what seems like a million years. I guess the only reason I have for not keeping in touch is that when Amy left in September, I think I lost my mojo. Sure, she was 21 and God knows, I can completely understand that she needed to find her own way, but the selfish side of me just wasn't ready. So, I'm back - I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but I'll fill you in, somewhat, on the goings on of the past 7 months in the life of MadameZ:

- Amy came back for her 1st visit in December to see her brother perform in "Cats". He was AMAZING. The play was phenomenal. I wasn't sure what to expect when I found out that he had a solo - A few weeks before his show, this was the conversation that my husband & I had:

Me: Adam has a solo in this play.
Vaughn: Are you serious? But, Adam can't sing.
Me: I know
Vaughn: Well, do you think the Drama teacher knows?
Me: Well, honey, they've been rehearsing 15 hours a week for the past 3 months - I think she must have a clue.
Vaughn: This could get ugly.

When Adam started singing, our mouths dropped. He was amazing. I cried and couldn't believe that was my little boy up there. He made me so proud.

Let's skip ahead a few months.... After all the problems I had with my stomach these past years, I wound up getting surgery again in April to remove my right ovary. This gave me a month off work, so I had lots of time to have coffee with Kare.
It also gave me the chance to go visit Amy for awhile. By this time, she had come to visit 2 or 3 times, but it was so much fun to see where she worked, to meet her new friends & hang out on her turf for awhile. It was so amazing. We had the greatest time.

Forgive me for not adding captions to these pictures, but my darling husband bought me a MacBook for Christmas because I thought they were cute and it has intimidated me every day since. I'm still having issues with it.

So.....I come back from my holiday to return to work & cannot understand why I'm still not feeling better. I manage to make it through a 1/2 day and when I go back to the Doctor, it turns out that I have scar tissue that had wrapped itself around just about everything, including the nerves in my upper leg. So, a few weeks later, I'm back getting surgery again and, therefore, more time at home. It's been 12 days since my last operation & I can honestly say I'm feeling so much better.

Amy's up again for a visit & has decided to move closer - on Friday, she will be moving only 4 hours away, and I couldn't be happier.

Because I'm the queen of procrastination, I waited till only recently to apply for my passport, much to my husband's dismay. If it does happen to arrive in time, he & I will be in Vegas the same time as Kare & her family. How totally awesome is that???

I'm going to try my best to keep up with my life. If you're reading this, thanks for sticking around.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

What I'm Reading

2007-10-05T13:54:00.001-06:00

This book was given to me by a coworker for my birthday. I probably wouldn't have purchased it had I seen it in the book store. It's crude, raw, vulgar, odd and totally messed up. I'm about 1/2 way through it, and I must say, I'm really enjoying it.

Thank you, Nett!!!

2007-10-04T21:14:00.001-06:00

I turned 40 on Monday - This in itself is enough to drive a woman to drink. After a very busy week, an unexpected surprise came in the mail today. When I noticed that the return address was the Starbucks Coffee Company, all I could think was, "Holy crap, am I that good of a customer?"

I opened it up & it was a Starbucks birthday card and a gift certificate from Nett! Thank you so much!!! You are definitely a woman who knows the way to my heart. This was so sweet and thoughtful of you!!!

Travelling Tunes

2007-09-27T16:05:00.001-06:00

Do you have 'driving music'? You know - music that you hear in your car, and you blast the stereo to bust and belt out the song like it's your job? Well, I actually have 2 songs at the moment. They vary from time to time, but for the past few weeks, it's been

1) "Shut up and Drive" by Rihanna - Okay, I seriously choreographed a complete dance number while driving and listening to this tune one day. This song is fun, hip and makes me want to shake my groove thing. When Adam's in the car with me and this song comes on, he automatically shuts up, rolls his eyes into the back of his head and pretends that I'm just a random stranger that picked him up on the side of the road.

2) "Rockstar" by Nickelback - Much to everyone's disgust, I have to admit that I have a little bit of a school girl crush on the lead singer of this band. Yes, kare, I know you think he looks like Jesus. But, it's not so much his looks as it is his voice and the complete and utter dirtiness of some of the lyrics. Many a time I've listened to their songs and thought "I'd strip to that". ANYWAY....back to my story..

So, yesterday morning after I dropped Adam off at school, I'm shuffling through XM radio looking for tunes and "Rockstar" came on - I instantly cranked the volume to teenage level & proceeded to sing for my supper. I love to sing - I suck like a vacuum, but in my car, I can transform from Mariah to Celene to Fergie to Kelly Clarkson to Rihanna, and yes, to the lead singer of Nickelback. I start singing to the top of my lungs. I have to add that I'm sure people look at me like I've lost it, but when I'm in the moment, I don't care who's watching.

So, here I am - sitting at a red light - music blaring, me keeping right in time with the tunes, and I look over at the car next to me. There's a guy, sitting in his car doing the exact same thing to the exact same song. He notices me noticing him - we both laugh, and continue singing while sitting in our cars.

We open up for Nickelback next month.

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

The Last Hurrah

2007-09-23T16:16:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been quite a week - After much consideration, Amy has decided to move away, and she's leaving tomorrow morning. It's been a hard week - I don't think I'll ever stop crying. We fight like cats & dogs, but in a nutshell, we're basically the same person. I can't imagine not seeing her, not laughing with her, not fighting with her every day.

I decided that I would have a 'bon voyage' party for her last night, but because she's not going to be here for my 40th birthday next week, she & her friends actually gave me a surprise party. Such a great night.

This is a present Amy & her best friend, Jesse made me - it was a canvas with different memories written on it. As well, a quote from "for one more day" by Mitch Albom written on it:

"She wasn't easy on me, don't get me wrong. She smacked me. She scolded me. She punished me. But she loved me. She really did. She loved me falling off a swing set. She loved me stepping on her floors with muddy shoes. She loved me through vomit and snot, and bloody knees. She loved me coming and going - at my worst and at my best. She had a bottomless well. She had a bottomless well of love for me. Of love for me."

Once again Amy proved to give me a memorable present. I didn't think the tears would stop.

My girlfriend Jayne & her husband gave me a remarkable table with a lighthouse on it. It's absolutely beautiful. Her presents are always amazing. If you're noticing two girls dressed very '80s in the background, that's two friends I work with - Amanda & Laura. I always wanted an '80s themed party, so when they were invited to this, they decided to run with it. Needless to say, as soon as the gift opening was over, I ran upstairs & changed into some old clothes. I'm all about teasing the hair, wearing tacky jewellery and those shoulder pads! To top it all off - Vaughn got me another pair of uggs! Yay me!

Now, for your viewing pleasure, some pictures from last night's excitement. Amanda made me a cake with a penis on it - In my defense, I was drunk as a sailor, so, out of consideration, I won't post the pics of what I did with the cake later. BWAAHAHAH (Netter, you can see them all on facebook) ;o)

Happy trails, little miss. I love you everyday - and now I'll miss you every day.

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

I was a pawn in a vicious scheme

2007-09-15T16:58:00.000-06:00

So, kare phones me yesterday & asks me if I want to 'pay it forward' with the lawn demons that were left on her lawn a few weeks ago. Needless to say, I'm all about a good time. I'm all about wearing a hoodie in the dead of night, crawling over people's driveways and planting little evil goblins on lawns. But, hey - it was Schell. I knew she'd get a kick out if it. I didn't, however, think she'd figure out it was us so quickly. Here's how it went down.

I arrived at kare's to pick her & 'Satan's toys' up and pack them into my vehicle. Let me say that I'm not a big fan of these. The whole 'ornaments left on the lawn' thing did not amuse me one bit. It actually freaks me out to think they they mysteriously just showed up there. ANYWAY....here they are, being loaded up by a co-conspirator, kare's daughter, Tres:

So, away kare & I go....Like two hoodlums in the dark. We arrive and park a few houses down from Schell's and decide that this is a picture moment:

By this time, I'm thinking that because it's completely dark outside, people tucked away in their homes for the evening are going to see flashes going off and wonder what the heck is going on. This apparently doesn't enter kare's mind even once. So here is a pic of my bad influence:

Picture this, if you will....two hooded strangers crawling over people's driveways with garden ornaments in their arms. Cars are driving by and all I can think is "Holy shit, someone's gonna call the cops". I don't think I laughed so hard in my life. We finally make it to Schell's front lawn and we start to arrange them. They're falling all over the place and we can't stop laughing. We finally get them all standing up and kare poses for a pic:We then proceed to fly back to my car, and kare realizes that we didn't get a pic of me with them.

Me: It's too late! We can't run back now!

kare: We have to! We've come this far! That's part of the dare! Let's go!

So, there we are - crouched down, crawling over the driveways & lawns again - to get this:

I thought for sure we'd get caught! I can't remember running that fast in my life - or laughing that much!

Schell, when you're ready to 'pay it forward', let kare & I know. I'll drive the getaway vehicle.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

Strange Happenings at the house of Schell!

2007-09-15T13:28:00.000-06:00

Wow - you HAVE to read this post! There are weird things and even weirder people among us. ;o) Schell, there's never a dull moment in your yard!

The latest book.

2007-09-12T19:52:00.000-06:00

I'm a fan of Mitch Albom - my daughter got me turned on to him years ago with the books "Tuesdays with Morrie" and "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". They were definitely 'tug at your heartstrings' books and, like my daughter, I passed them on to many people.

I was at the bookstore a few weeks ago, and one of the workers mentioned that he had a newer book - "for one more day". I had it finished before I could even go to bed. If you haven't read it already, I'm urging you to. It was simply amazing. However, I actually didn't think I'd ever stop crying. Let me know what you think.

2007-09-11T18:15:00.000-06:00

Don't you just love it when you wake up for work and your day is going great? Your hair went perfect, you're not running behind, you don't get stuck in a traffic jam, there's no lineup at Starbucks....Everything is going absolutely swell.....And then there's that one person....every day, that just fucks it all up.

I have one of those people. Every morning, I stop at my work to pick up cash, paperwork, etc; and I make the lovely trip to head office to meet with the lady in Accounts Payable. Her job is to balance our previous day. That's it. If we've screwed up, or the cash doesn't jive, it's her job to get it back in the groove.

I'm a morning person. So, when I arrive at her office, my makeup is freshly done, my hair is great, and my clothes are wrinkle free (this doesn't last all day, but seeing it's the 1st thing in the morning, all is well.)

When I walk into her office, I'm chipper. When I greet someone in the morning saying, "Good morning - how are you today?", the correct response is, "Fine, thanks. How are you?" I don't care if your allergies are acting up. I don't care if your loser boyfriend won't pay his bills. I don't care if the company is trying to kill you by cutting off the heat in your office. And I certainly don't care if your six month flu is bringing you just that much closer to death. But I listen (as I'm checking messages on my cell phone) and I normally just let her have her rant. She then will proceed to complain about how whoever closed the store the night before should be tested for mental capability. How one of these days she's just going to stop doing our day end until someone actually gets it right. This burns my ass every day. This morning I had enough. I'll re-enact this morning's events....For privacy reasons, we'll call her "Swamp Thing".

Me: Good Morning all! How is everyone this fine morning? Why's your office door closed?

Swamp Thing: Don't be talking! The mold in this building is killing me. My allergies are worse today than they've ever been. It's obvious that 'the powers that be' (she actually did the finger quotes) have no interest in the little people!

Me: Well....that sucks...Hey, can we hurry this up? I've still gotta do a coffee run.

Swamp Thing: You can hang on. God knows it takes me twice as long to do your store. When are they going to start training people right anyway? I've just about had it with your store!

Me: Whatever. *rolls eyes*

Swamp Thing: Do you have any idea what I have to do every day? Do you know how much extra work it is?

~~~Let me just say, in my defense, she was cutting into my coffee time~~~

Me: Extra work?? Extra work?? It's your goddamn job! Do you know how much work it is for me to drag my ass in here every morning to listen to this? Get the goddamn stick out of your ass and do your job! I'm not packing my fucking bags to go on your pity trip this morning! Now hurry up, you're clearly not worth missing coffee for.

Not another word....The cash was done. I got my coffee. Life was good.

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

I Need Another Few Days - This Weekend was too Busy!

2007-09-09T19:28:00.000-06:00

Wow - It's Sunday evening, and I'm exhausted! Friday evening, Vaughn, Amy & her friend & I went to the annual 'Kids Forever' fundraiser - a benefit for children with special needs. Amazingly, they raised $305 000.00 this year!!! It was a great night, as always:

Sorry - I can't be serious all the time....Who am I kidding - I can't even be serious half the time.

Saturday was my baby girl's 21st birthday! However, because she wasn't awake yet, my girlfriend, Jayne & I went and got our tattoos. Because we were so in love with Amy's, we actually both chose getting our husband's initials on our wrists. As panicky as I was, it was surprisingly not that bad.

Saturday evening Amy had a bunch of friends over for birthday cake and fancy slushie drinks. Her requested cake this year was fruit pizza, so, what my girl wants - my girl gets.

Adam's school's Drama Club is performing 'Cats' this winter and he auditioned this week and will be playing the role of Skimbleshanks, so, rehearsals started this afternoon. I dropped him off, and then proceeded to meet Kare at the dog park - lots of fun! Then the usual Sunday activity....grocery shopping. After getting home and finally getting everything put away, I slumped on the couch & went into a coma for about a half hour, until it was time to pick Adam up. I think it'll be an early night tonight. I'm only staying up long enough to see if Britney Spears makes a fool of herself on the VMAs tonight.

Have a good evening, everyone. Peace.

My Week.

2007-09-06T18:50:00.000-06:00

Holy shit - how busy was this week? I guess it's all the craziness with getting back into the swing of things with Adam back in school. Here's a pic on his 1st day:

It's Amy's 21st birthday on Saturday, but her friend Benjamin (remember him from last year?) had to leave last Sunday, so we had a 'Bon Voyage Ben/Amy's Faux Birthday' celebration last weekend so he wouldn't miss it. I wasn't crazy about the boy last year, but I'll bite the bullet and actually admit that I love that kid. He's a sweet guy who absolutely adores Amy. Isn't that all that matters? Here are some pics:

As well, Amy got a portion of her present today - She & my father (she calls him 'Poppy') have a bond like no other - In his eyes, she can do no wrong (rolling eyes), and in her eyes, he walks on water. So....in honor of him, this is what she got this afternoon:

My Father cried. The guy did an amazing job - so well, in fact, I've decided to get another tattoo by him on Saturday, even though I swore that my last one was definitely my last one.

Netter & DH, it took a while, but your presents were mailed today - Nett, they told me that the dog sled should be mushing it's way out of the Post Office Igloo soon and you should receive it in about 10 days. ;o) DH, even though they stuck a ton of 'Fragile' stickers on yours, I'm crossing my fingers that it gets to you in one piece. Let me know when you both get them, k?

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

Drum Roll Please....

2007-08-30T09:11:00.000-06:00

Okay everyone - here's the situation. Last night I drew a name out of the 'name bucket', and, I couldn't get the thought out of my mind on how there are certain people that read my blog that have impacted me in some way or another....

So, when Amy came home this morning & jumped in bed with me, we started talking, and we were laughing about what kind of presents I would give certain people that reminded me of them... So here it goes...

In addition to the person whose name I picked, Amy had a favorite and an idea of what to get this person. As well, I had someone in mind. So - here are the 3 that I need addresses from:

Dan
Desperate Housewife
Netter

Nothing creepy, I promise. hahahahah

darlene_z@hotmail.com

2007-08-29T15:43:00.000-06:00

Hey all - sorry about not blogging since last week, but the plague has overcome me. By Saturday I was feeling not too bad, but woke up with the most terrible migraine on Sunday that kept me bedridden until Monday night. Since then, I've been chauffeured around by Vaughn because I feel like I'm just not up to tackling anything yet.

On the downside, our holidays started Friday & we were supposed to leave town Saturday. The weather has been pretty shitty so me being sick was kind of a bonus. We really couldn't go boating in the rain anyway. On the upside, much to everyone's disbelief, I'm glad I got sick while I have time booked off of work - I absolutely HATE calling in sick, and take extreme offence to anyone that does. Is that wrong? Probably, but whatever.

It was Porkchop's 3rd birthday on Saturday, and I've got some great pics to add, but Vaughn bought me a new camera, so I've got to get him to load the software onto the computer.

ANYWAY.........Tomorrow's the end of the month, therefore I'll be drawing for the prize probably tonight. I'm thinking that we'll leave to go out of town tomorrow for a day or two before Adam starts back at school. I'll post the winner!!!!

Have a great day everyone! Peace.

Grad 2009

2007-08-23T12:18:00.000-06:00

Today was school registration - once a year it's the most chaotic, unorganized event. Why is it that we cannot confirm registration online? Why is it that we have to wait in line for almost two hours to get the school schedule, then another line for payment, then another line for lockers, another line for bus passes and, last but not least, the photo lineup. This prehistoric way of registration is only in high school, and I've been standing in these lines once a year since 1999. I swear I wanted to be shot - until it hit me...Next year will be the last time I ever have to wait in these lines again. My baby will be graduating next year. My eyes instantly welled up with tears. All Adam could do was roll his eyes, chuckle, and say, "God, Mom! I can't take you anywhere!" Where in the heck did the time go?

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

Things I Learn as I Get Older

2007-08-21T18:15:00.001-06:00

I've been told that you should learn a new thing every day - that with every experience, whether good or bad, you should take something away from it and categorize it as a learning experience. Well, today, this is what I've learned:
Never - and I repeat never put a handful (approximately a dozen) Milk Duds in your mouth all at the one time while you're driving. Not only does the sugar rush bring on a coughing fit, but the caramel doesn't dissolve and you end up with a chewy wad about the size of a golf ball in your mouth. You then finally realize that you have one of two options:

1) Spit the gob onto your lap.
2) Swallow

I attempted #2.

Today I learned that it is impossible to give yourself the Heimlich maneuver while driving.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

2007-08-20T17:21:00.000-06:00

As usual, the weekend just wasn't long enough - however, it was very relaxing and enjoyable. Today was back to work, and crazy busy.

I'm proud of one accomplishment, though. I've been talking that I need to do something. Something other than my job & housey/wifey things. So, I went to the college after work today and registered for creative writing classes. It's probably fluff, but I'm pretty pumped. This should be a hoot.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

p.s. I can't get on sue, dan, or librarian's blogs.... What's up with that?

What I'm Reading

2007-08-16T19:45:00.001-06:00

I noticed Amy reading this last week, and she was unable to put it down. So, as I'm in the process of reading a book that I'm having a hard time getting into, she suggested I take a break from it and give this one a shot. I've only just started it, but I'm enjoying it already. However, I have a feeling that I may shed a tear or two...

Madness??? This...Is...Sparta!!!

2007-08-15T07:46:00.000-06:00

I'm a 'chick-flick' type of girl. Sure, when I was younger, I spent many an evening at the movie theatre watching horror - the scarier the better. I think I've outgrown that somewhat, but a little creepy is always good. I also love kid's movies - I even spent time wondering what I was going to do when my children finally grew up and I had no one to take to these movies - I often joked that I would have to rent a child just so I would have someone to go with. As well, I'm a lover of 'fluff' - you know, "Van Wilder", "Napoleon Dynamite", and stupid comedies like that. My kids and I will blurt out quotes from these movies at any given time and laugh our asses off - even if it's been months or years since we've seen the actual movie.

There are certain types of movies, however, that I don't like - anything that has to do with gladiators, any extreme ridiculous violence (vampire movies excluded). There's tasteful violence and then it borders on the line of absurd. I mean, "The Blair Witch Project" was insane good, and there wasn't one ounce of bloodshed in the entire movie. My son? Well, he's not like that. He's a huge "Star Wars" fan. Even at 3 years old, he would sit watching the old movies, with his light saber in one hand and his Darth Vader helmet on his head. I didn't get it at all - So when George Lucas decided to make 3 prequels to the trilogy, I shuddered to think that I would have to spend time at the theatre watching these, all the while, trying to stay awake. Let me just say, that after "Episode 1", I was hooked. I'm a huge sucker for a love story, and I'll pick it out & embrace it. I was enchanted by Anikin's love for Padme, and that got me to the movies - waiting in line for hours, and I was a "Star Wars" fan after all.

When the previews came out for "300", Adam was stoked. I adamantly refused to go see it, even to the point when I dropped him & his friend at the theatre to see it, and I was informed that because it was rated 18A, I had to actually go in with them, I told them to pick another movie or we were leaving. Despite all the great reviews it received, there was no way I was even going to consider it. The trailers made it look extremely violent, and plotless. So, Adam waited for it to come on DVD, and, as promised, I bought it for him on the 1st day it was released.

Just this past weekend, he was talking about it to me, so, out of curiosity, I asked him to give me a brief synopsis of the film. Much to my surprise, it had a very interesting story - as well, King Leonidas (the main character) had a wife that he adored. Wow! There's a bit of a love story! So, I figured, 'what the heck', and I sat down and watched it with him. All I can say is, holy shit - the movie was amazing. It completely captured my attention - I will be the 1st to say that I was totally wrong. I don't think it's changed my taste in movies at all, but this went above and beyond the realm of anything I was ever interested in before. I think I'll be quoting this movie for a long time. "Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in Hell!" Soooo good!

Have a great day, everyone. Peace

I want a Do-Over

2007-08-13T19:19:00.000-06:00

Vaughn & I were invited to a wedding Saturday night. After the ceremony, we were sitting with a couple and his wife started to reminisce about her wedding. That got me thinking about mine. You see, I hated my wedding, but before I get into the reasons why, let me explain my courtship with Vaughn.

Vaughn and I dated for almost 3 years before we got married. I don't know what it was about him, but, from the first date, we just knew. We loved each other right from day one, and we knew that eventually we'd get married. However, there were obstacles that prevented us from rushing into the wedding. From the very beginning, my Father hated Vaughn. I know you may think that I'm over-reacting. I mean, how could a parent despise a man that was obviously making his daughter so happy? Well, I'm sure he had his reasons - one of them being that he wasn't rich. He was a student at the time without a steady income. At one point, early into our relationship, my dad actually met him at the door and started screaming that if Vaughn was ever to show up at our house again, people would find pieces of him all across our city. I'm serious.

Despite this, Vaughn stood his ground and we eventually got engaged. The planning of the wedding was a nightmare. Every girl dreams of their wedding day, and I was not the exception. I brought my mother to see the dress that I had fallen in love with, and when I tried it on, she started to cry - you see, I'm the only girl & my mom assumed that she would make my wedding dress. She swore that it would look just like my dream dress (big mistake), because when the material finally showed up (3 weeks before the wedding), it was the wrong color and the wrong fabric. I've always had this idea of having this amazing wedding cake, and when I sent my mom to order it (mistake #2) with specific instructions on what I wanted, she assured me that it was exactly what she ordered. When I picked it up the night before the wedding, it was the wrong shape, the wrong color and the wrong size. When I brought it up with mom, she simply said that she thought the one she ordered was nicer.

I wanted a small wedding, so we decided on a few witnesses and our immediate family. What it ended up being was 110 people & the only ones that were our friends were in our wedding party. Another obstacle was the fact that my parents are Catholic and Vaughn's are Baptist. This was the biggest nightmare. My parents wouldn't go if it was in the Baptist church and Vaughn's parents didn't want it in the Catholic church - we resolved this by not taking anyone's side and getting married in the atrium at a hotel by a Justice of the Peace. Being Baptists, Vaughn's parents also refused to attend if there was dancing and alcohol. Excuse me??? My family is Catholic. We drink. A lot. So, I had to give up the dream of our 'first dance', but had to draw the line on the alcohol.

I have this picture in our wedding album where my dad is walking me down the aisle - I have this 'deer-in-the-headlights' look on my face, and you can tell that dad is talking to me. What everyone didn't know was that, at that very second, dad was trying to talk me out of marrying Vaughn. Seriously.

Needless to say, the reception was insane - I was drunk in the matter of a few hours, and we left at 8:15pm, without saying goodbye to anyone. I realized, on my way out that I hadn't even thrown the bouquet or Vaughn hadn't removed my garter, so, I hiked up my dress, gave the garter to a guy sitting at his table and handed the bouquet to my cousin.

Almost 18 years have passed. It took a very very long time, but my father finally accepted Vaughn. There are far too many stories that I wouldn't bother boring you with, but, I like to think that he finally realized that I married a man that loves me more than anything. He treats me with more respect that I probably even deserve.

Wow - I think I needed this venting session about my wedding - Thank God that it wasn't a prelude to my marriage, because, as unhappy as I was on my wedding day, every day since has been the exact opposite. The wedding day wasn't much of a celebration, but every year, we celebrate the day we started our life together. And we are happy.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

2007-08-09T18:00:00.000-06:00

I'm thinking I'm letting my stress consume me. I assumed that my 'sanity day' yesterday would calm me down enough to get back to work with my mind working more clearly, and maybe my bitchiness having passed.

I did accomplish a few things off my list yesterday...The bananas are now loaves & muffins:

And even though I waited until the very last minute possible, I even managed to make spaghetti for dinner:

The suitcase is still on my floor, but I've decided that since we're going on holidays again in a few weeks, it's only logical to leave it there now - why go through the trouble of putting it all the way under the stairs when it'll only have to be dragged out again? I just love the way I rationalize things sometimes.

Back to my mood - I think today must have been the absolute worst day at work. I could actually visualize myself flailing my arms wildly and screaming to the top of my lungs. Luckily for everyone, I kept these thoughts to myself, and left as soon as I could. I picked up my daughter at work and we went to visit her girlfriend who just had twin boys yesterday. It changed me completely. I held one of the babies & all of my anger diminished. It's amazing how the innocence of a little child can bring us back to our senses and make us realize that shit happens, and we really need to reevaluate our priorities every once in awhile. Did it make me want another baby? Did my maternal instinct kick in? Not even one bit. However, if it had been a litter of puppies, I would have definitely brought every single one of them home.

Vaughn has been great, and I guess a little worried about how stressed I've been, because when I walked in the door this evening, this is what was on the table:

I'm very blessed - however, a gallon of Almond M&M's would have done the trick too. ;o)

Here's hoping that tomorrow is better...*crossing fingers*

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

2007-08-08T07:42:00.000-06:00

Do you ever find that your life is so busy, that at the end of the day, you don't look at what you've accomplished - instead you beat yourself up at the things that you forgot to do? When I took this job a few years ago, I couldn't believe the luck I had, working Monday to Thursday til 2:30pm and Fridays til noon, and no holidays. I could finally be somewhat domestic! Things would get done around the house, and I wouldn't feel like my days off consisted of nothing more than cleaning & laundry. This lasted for about a month. Even though my day begins at 5:20am, there still never seems to be enough hours in the day to get to everything.

I was looking forward to this past weekend. It was a long weekend, and I figured I could devote one whole day to housecleaning/laundry & then I'd have two days of just enjoyment. I don't know what it's like in your house, but when the entire family is home (especially the husband), it seems as if all plans are thrown out the window. Monday night came, the house was still a mess, and I had to be back to work the next day.

Because I'm doing a favor for my manager in the next few days, she suggested that I take today as a "Personal Day" (which I like to refer to as a 'sanity day') Wow! A day in the middle of the week! My husband would be at work, the kids would be doing their thing, and I would be alone! My mind started racing at all the opportunities that this day had in store for me. The possibilities were endless! So, being given this unexpected gift, I started making mental notes as to how I would spend this glorious time. This what I came up with:

1) Make muffins out of the bananas that are about to start a mutiny on the counter
2) Change bedding & finally unpack the suitcase that's been in the bedroom for 2 weeks
3) Attack the 4 foot mountain of laundry
4) Dust furniture, because it looks like potatoes could grow in places
5) Clean floors & bathrooms
6) Cook a nice dinner

So, that's the plan....In reality, here's how I'm assuming my day will unfold:

1) Make muffins (yes, I really think I'll do this)
2) Decide that the bedding can wait until the weekend and walk out of the bedroom, tripping over the suitcase on the way out
3) Play a few games on pogo.com
4) Start to fold one load of laundry while watching the cooking channel & decide that it's a 'me' day, so have a much deserved nap
5) Realize at 4:30 that nothing was taken out for dinner, and order pizza

Hey, at least I'm being realistic.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

I'm Back..........

2007-08-07T07:39:00.000-06:00

Okay, so it's been a million years since I posted last.... I promised Netter that I'd start blogging again, but as I look back at the past 3-4 months, I've realized that nothing has been going on in my life that would be considered 'blog worthy'.

I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, drinking way too much coffee & reading a lot. By the way - I loved the last Harry Potter book. I have taken a small oath this past weekend that no matter how boring I think my life is, I will blog nomatter what.

I've decided, in following Netter's lead, I will put on a contest. For every comment I receive, your name will be put into a jar & I will draw at the end of this month. For those of you who have been patient, I promise I'll make it worth your while. ;o)

Thanks again for your patience with me. Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

p.s. If anyone gets the chance, read the book "Lovely Bones". Kare bought it for me. It was amazing.

2007-04-14T10:13:00.000-06:00

Vaughn left for Edmonton this morning to pick up his boat - However, I didn't go with him because I've been sitting in front of the computer with a cup of coffee since 8:45am, waiting until 10:00am to buy the Bon Jovi tickets....

Starting at 9:45, my hands started to shake....(too much coffee, perhaps?) I was in a panic, so I sat here for 15 minutes and started pressing the 'refresh' button until 10. It worked - I'VE GOT THE TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is going to be a good day!

Do I Qualify for a Car Sticker?

2007-04-11T07:41:00.000-06:00

I was okay when I had my uterus removed at 30 - I mean, not exactly okay, but I figured it was useless after I stopped having kids anyway. Who actually misses the monthly 'gift that keeps on giving'? I was even okay when I had my fallopian tubes removed 6 months ago. I even found it humorous - wondering what my ovaries were up to now that they were no longer attached to anything.

The doctors told me 9 years ago, that I would still experience hormonal changes every month, however, that would be it. I still have PMS in a bad way, but it leads up to nothing. For approximately one week a month, I become bipolar. The first few days (stage 1), I experience euphoric bliss. I'm like a dog in heat (this is the few days that are Vaughn's favorite) - everything is right in the world, as I have no worries at all. I am a happy camper.... Then something triggers the sadness (stage 2) - I don't know what it is, but I cry at everything - it can be a commercial, 'Extreme Makeover: Home Edition', or even a call from a telemarketer. At this stage, I am inconsolable. All of a sudden, the anger will creep up (stage 3). When this happens, it's every man for himself. I will threaten to quit my job, I will throw random objects across the room, and I have even been known to wake Vaughn up in the middle of a deep sleep just to pick a fight.

Just a few weeks ago, I hit 'stage 1' when my washing machine died - To me, at that time, I thought this was the funniest thing in the world. It was okay because I still had clean clothes, and that I was waiting until the weekend to get a new one. However, when the weekend rolled around, 'stage 2' reared it's ugly head. When Vaughn called Sears to order the washing machine that I wanted, we were told that it would take 5 days to arrive. This was all it took - I curled up in bed, threw the covers over my head and sobbed like a child. He tried to console me, and when he asked why I was crying, I whimpered, "The washer is broken, I have dirty clothes everywhere, I'm fat and I'm getting old!" My poor husband. He took me down and got me the washing machine that day.

We've learned to live with this - it's not a fun way to live, but what can you do, right? I have not, however, learned how to deal with early menopause. It's started - I wake up at least twice a night with hot flashes, I'm slowly acquiring more junk in my trunk, and I'm craving mid-morning naps - and the busy signal at my doctor's office all day yesterday made me want to purchase a gun.

I hate getting old. This sucks. Big time.

Have a great day everyone. Peace.

2007-04-09T15:48:00.000-06:00

Vaughn picked me up from work today for lunch. As I was sitting at my table, I was looking out the window, marveling at how quickly the snow is melting. Right in front of my eyes, a homeless man bent down and picked up a cigarette butt off the ground. He brushed the dirt off of it, lit it and looked at me. I almost threw up.

2007-04-07T17:34:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone has a Happy Easter! I, myself, being born into the Catholic religion, am beyond excited. You see, much to my mother's disapproval, I'm not a believer of organized religion, however there are a few things I've carried with me. One of them is Lent. So, for 39 days, I have given up chocolate covered almonds, macadamia nuts & caramels. God bless my husband - he bought an entire case from a girl that was fundraising just so I'd have them on Easter morning. So, lets talk about how much weight I'm going to gain tomorrow, shall we??

Hope the easter bunny leaves chocolate for everyone! Have a great weekend! Peace.

Jumping on the M&M Bandwagon

2007-04-05T16:24:00.000-06:00

Well, I noticed that cris and brandy tried this, so I figured it was worth a shot. Funny, I actually look NOTHING like this (aside from the coffee cup always in my hand!) ahaha Lots of fun!

So, my husband and I are off on another road trip tomorrow - this is just a day one, so it should be okay. He's in the process of looking at a boat to purchase, and the one he's interested in is 3 hours away. Don't even bother to ask what kind of boat or anything specific, as I'm not 'down with the boat lingo' & I'm not the boat type - heck, I'm especially not the outdoorsy type when it comes to the summertime. I'm deathly afraid of insects, but this is something he's wanted for so long, so I'm happy he's able to do it. I will, however, jump on board if there's a possibility that I can wear a captain's hat...

So, I go into the bank this afternoon to get a certified cheque for this ocean liner that Vaughn is thinking about getting. I walk up to the teller, swipe my bank card and tell her that I'd like to get a cheque for an insane amount of money. So, she just looks at the computer screen, says, "No problem", prints out the cheque & hands it to me. When she asks if there was anything else I needed, I told her that my bank card has been giving me a problem, as the swipey bar on the back is wearing out - could I get a new one? Do you know what she said???? "Sure, but I'll have to see 2 pieces of ID". Excuse me???? She just handed me a cheque for thousands of dollars without even verifying that it was my account. Anyone could have walked in off the street with my card & cleaned me out... Friggin' idiot. I started yelling at her, and all she could say was "It's procedure"...At least that's what I think she said - she could hardly speak English, and when I yelled for an interpreter, there were none available. ;o)

Have a great evening, everyone! Peace.

Have a Nice Day

2007-04-03T20:40:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how many good things can happen on a day off. It started out yesterday when the manager at Starbucks told me that this morning they would be introducing a new beverage - she's aware of my love affair with caramel, so she told me that this morning, my new experience would be on the house. It's called Dulce de Leche Latte which has something to do with 'caramel milk', and, with the toffee bits sprinkled over the top, I can honestly say it was absolutely divine.

I had a relaxing day at home - got laundry done, and proceeded to go to my bi-weekly nail appointment, when I heard my daughter scream from upstairs. Bon Jovi will be playing in Calgary in July and tickets will be going on sale next week!!! I had to call my husband right away:

Me: Honey!!! Tickets go on sale next week for Bon Jovi!!! Oh My God! Oh My God!!!

Vaughn: Okay.... So, I take it you want to go?

Me: It's Bon Jovi!!! I'd mush Porkchop to see them!!!!

Vaughn: You've said this about other concerts.

Me: Oh My God!!! I've be waiting for this concert!!!

Vaughn: You've been waiting for other concerts too...Want me to name some?

Me: I'm hanging up now.

Clearly the man has no excitement in his veins....This is probably why I'd go with Amy. So, next week, I'll have me, Vaughn & Adam trying for tickets online while Amy tackles the phone lines.

This will be fun - way fun.

Have a great evening, everyone! Peace.

Ice Ice Baby

2007-04-02T18:10:00.000-06:00

I had extra time before work this morning, so I thought it would be a good time to drop into Kare's place to bring her some of the dessert I had made yesterday for Vaughn's birthday. It's always nice to spend time with her - even if it's only a minute or two.

Everything was going fine until I parked on the street in front of her house and walked behind her car. You know how it is when you're slipping and everything proceeds in what feels like slow motion? You can feel yourself slip, so you begin to fight the fall - your arms start to flail, and your legs start to do the splits.... Well, there was none of that. It was like I was walking normally, and all of a sudden 'whoosh'! - I was flat on my back on the side of the road. The next thing I saw was Kare running down her snow-covered driveway with only socks on her feet, yelling, "Oh my God!"...As I got up to walk towards her, she was convinced that I was hurt. When I told her I was fine, she then told me that I was in shock.

So, I've had the day to think about this, and every time it crosses my mind, I burst into a fit of laughter. Kare figures I've hit my head too hard, but I seriously think that this would have been something so hilarious if it had been videotaped - even though, this evening I kind of feel like I'd been hit by a small vehicle. If you had only seen the look on Kare's face...That was funnier than the fact that I spent 1/2 the day at work with the entire ass of my pants soaking wet.

Kare, if I'm gonna kill myself in front of anyone's house, I'd pick yours. I just love you that much. ;o)

On a lighter note, she gave me the cutest chicken!

What an interesting, entertaining way to start the week...Even better, I managed to finagle tomorrow off work! Yay me!

Have a wonderful evening, everyone! Peace.

Another Happy Birthday!

2007-04-01T19:53:00.000-06:00

Well, it's always a busy few weeks around Easter in the House of Madame Z - Adam's birthday was 4 days ago & it's Vaughn's birthday today. It's not only busy, but expensive. Vaughn treated himself to a new truck a few weeks ago, and just 2 days ago, my washing machine decided to die........all over the laundry room....... But, on a lighter note, I bought him a new front-load washing machine for his birthday!

We had a great evening last night, went out with friends of ours to a fundraiser dinner & listened to some great big-band music. Vaughn even agreed (finally) to take ballroom dancing lessons! This morning we went out for a great Sunday brunch, & I made Vaughn his favorite dessert - Sex in a Pan.

All in all it was a very lovely weekend, aside from giving my 10yr old washer a proper burial.

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

X-Rated Birthday

2007-03-27T19:33:00.000-06:00

It's my baby boy's 16th birthday today!

I always try to make an 'event' out of everything. I spend a lot of time planning & the birthday cake is always so important. I did, over the past years, make a lot of the kid's cakes, but for awhile, found an unbelievable caterer who made the most amazing cakes. One year, when Adam was into Titanic, this lady actually made a 3 dimensional Titanic with the lifeboats & everything sailing into an iceberg made out of marshmallow cream. She's made a life-size computer, complete with keyboard, mouse & monitor for Vaughn once. However, her catering business took off & birthday cakes just didn't fit into her time frame anymore.

I love to make cakes - I love to plan parties. Unfortunately, this year, Adam didn't really want one. He just wanted the family, so I planned his birthday cake & dinner for just the 4 of us. So, last evening I decided to get the baking done. To make a long story short, the cake fell apart when I was taking it out of the pan. It was time for Plan B.

After our annual birthday breakfast before school, I dropped into the bakery of our grocery store. All of the pre-made cakes were covered in icing flowers. When I explained the predicament to the baker, I told her that I wanted a boy's cake. She told me that it was no problem at all - she would have a 'boy's cake' ready by the time he was out of school.

So, after Adam's favorite dinner of pizza & wings:

I proceeded to bring the cake to the table. Vaughn and Amy looked at it & started to laugh. I didn't know what was so funny, until Vaughn pointed out the yellow icing on the cake:

It was shaped like a penis. All I wanted was a 'boy's cake' - Not a cake with boy parts on it. It's no wonder after Adam made a wish & I told him to 'blow', Amy & Vaughn couldn't contain their laughter.

All in all, it was a fun and humorous night - one that won't soon be forgotten!

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

What happened to me????

2007-03-25T19:07:00.000-06:00

Okay - seriously.... I think I have lost my blogger mojo. Usually when something interesting happens in my life, all I can think of is 'Oh God, I have to blog about this!' - but nothing. I really think I've totally lost my groove.

I figured I'd post about a few things that have happened in the past while because I am so out of the loop - I haven't even been on the computer for about 3 weeks, so I'll be spending the entire evening tomorrow catching up on everyone's lives.... Sorry guys... :o(

Vaughn and I finally had our 'Valentine's Day' a few weeks ago.... He took me to an amazing restaurant, had an amazing dinner. All so absolutely wonderful. He's feeling great - so great I can't even believe it. I've got my husband back! He also got me a new table & chairs that I had been oogling over for the past few months:

When I say 'oogling', I wasn't kidding. Every time this poor man walked into the living room, I would grab the catalogue and flip right to the page & oogle. So, it really came as no surprise to anyone that knows me, that when it was finally all put together, I decided I wasn't crazy about it. But, like I've always said, nothing is permanent.... I can bet the farm that I'll be oogling again over another table before you know it. I know this makes me sound like a terrible bitch, but I'm really not! I have a really hard time spending insane amounts of money on anything in my life, probably for the one reason that I crave change. I love him to death for getting it for me, and I'll love him even more when he buys me another one. Seriously, folks....It's cute....for now....

Amy invited me out for coffee this evening, which was great. We talk every day since she's moved out, and I feel the need to casually invite her over for dinner or drop down to her house just so I can bring her 'care packages'. We had an interesting conversation this evening, though...You see, Amy lives with a lesbian. Amy herself isn't one, even though she's being teased to death about it... This is how it went:

Amy: The more I think about it, the more I don't get it. I can understand guys being gay, but girls? Don't they ever just want sex? I mean, all they have to ever look forward to is a lifetime of foreplay.

Me: I know what you mean! It's kinda like getting ready to eat and knowing that for the rest of your life all you can have is appetizers. Sometimes I want more than just spinach dip.

Amy: I agree! There are just times when you need more than a starter salad...

You get the gist..... Our conversations sometimes draw stares from others, but it's nice to know that someone else is on the same wavelength as me...

My baby boy turns 16 on Tuesday! Where on earth did the time go?

I'll try to post more, I promise - and I'll be catching up on all of your lives tomorrow...

Have a great evening, everyone! Peace

2007-03-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

I love coffee. I love art. I love coffee art.

Have a wonderful day, everyone. Peace.

My Daily Rant

2007-03-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

I used to love 'American Idol' - back in the day, I would plan my evenings around it. One day, however, it all came to a sudden halt.

In season 4, they had a contestant named Constantine. Normally I think Paula Abdul is a total nut-job, but I was totally on her side for my big huge girlie-crush on this man. When he'd sing, I would actually giggle & blush like a little school girl. Was he a great singer? Not particularly - but what a performer. He'd seduce the camera, with his 'sly-as-a-fox' grin and his 'come hither' eyes. I'd like to say that I'm not an animated person, but the night he got kicked off, I threw the remote at the wall and screamed, "This isn't a competition! It's a goddamn personality contest! This stupid-assed show is rigged! Why don't they let us f***ing Canadians vote? At least we've got some kind of f***ing clue as to what f***ing talent is! Stupid piece of shit show!" My husband, very dryly, looked at me and said, "C'mon honey, don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel". I was in no mood for sarcasm. I vowed never to watch it again.

Amanda is a total "American Idol' junkie. All last season, all I heard about was Chris Daughtry. It drove her crazy that I didn't watch the show and she had nobody to talk about it with. It drove me even more crazy, because I was boycotting it. So, I promised her that I would watch it this time - just so she could share her enthusiasm or disappointment with someone.

So, here I am - having just finished watching the elimination show, and I'm totally bewildered. Seriously, they call Simon, Paula & Randy (whom I despise with an infinite passion) judges. They're not judges!!!! They are simply people who sit there and give their opinions every week. They have no say as to who stays and who doesn't.

Why aren't Canadians allowed to vote??? I'm 1 month into this show and I can feel my remote-holding hand start to shake. They're eliminating some real talent & they're keeping some really awful singers who are clearly out of their league. I wish I hadn't started watching now, but now I can't stop... Amanda, I'm so mad at you.

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

Now What???

2007-02-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

They say all good things must come to an end. I remember the last episode of 'Seinfeld'. I remember when Taco Time stopped making jalapeno onion rings. I remember when Cover Girl stopped making 'Apple Butter' lipstick.

Today will be a day I will always remember, as well....

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry - to be grateful for the 94 free coffees I've consumed, or to go on an uncontrollable rampage because I've spent enough money to pay for a small country to get these 94 free coffees....

I will light a candle in memory, and I may break out into a rendition of "My Heart Will Go On", by Celine Dion. Either way, today is a day I won't soon forget.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

2007-02-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

This is a long story, but hopefully this will explain to you all why I haven't been posting very often lately....

Yesterday, I was having a "feel sorry for myself" day - Not that I had any reason to, but I was annoyed, agitated, and had to get out of the house. So, I went down to Starbucks, got my usual, and went grocery shopping. Last night, as I was preparing to jump into bed, I noticed my husband looking at me. He then said, "How different would your life be today if I hadn't gone to the emergency room on Valentine's Day?" I laughed, made a few jokes, and went to sleep. Unfortunately it all hit me as I was standing in the shower this morning.

About a week before we left for Banff, Vaughn starting getting sick...He went to his Doctor numerous times, and by the Thursday, he was in emergency, and by that afternoon, he was in ICU with a million tubes and cords attached to him. The doctors assumed that there was something weird going on with his heart. But, after two days, the tests came back negative and he was released - Not because he was really feeling any better, but because they had no idea what was up with him.

So, a week later, we headed to Banff and he was still feeling sick. By this time, we had both assumed that it was a really bad flu. Poor guy, he did his best to keep his spirits up for my sake. You see, I'm a "go, go, go" type of person, and I get severely annoyed if anyone can't keep up with me. So, I hate to admit it, but I did act like a spoiled brat at times. We got through the week, but on our last day, the pains in his chest were driving him crazy. We had intended on staying in Edmonton on that last day, but drove the whole way home. The next morning, he woke me up to tell me that he was going back to the hospital. He kissed me goodbye and I went back to sleep. He arrived back home later that day and let me know that he was told that he had pneumonia - he was given antibiotics and sent home, as there weren't any beds free for him to be admitted.

The days went by, and he wasn't feeling any better.. His prescription had run out, and by this time he was sicker than he was to begin with. He would come home from work and go straight to bed. Believe me when I say I tried so hard to be supportive, but I couldn't understand what was going on. He was having trouble breathing, and the pain had started to shift up to his shoulder. The morning of Valentine's Day, he looked at me and asked if we could celebrate when he was feeling better - "It's not Valentine's Day today....It will be Valentine's when I can feel well enough to share it with you". Okay, okay, I'll admit it - I sulked a bit, but did tell him that it was fine. The day could wait.

He came home from work that night and told me he had to go back to the hospital - his was in severe pain, and upon notice, his entire left arm wasn't even the same color as his right. Because I had already ordered dinner for the family, I drove him down and came back home. I got in my jammies and spent Valentine's with the kids. By 8:00pm, I put on my coat and jumped in the car and went down. He looked up at me, as I'm wearing red flannel jammies, my uggs and a winter coat, and said, "You didn't have to come". All I could say was, "It's Valentine's Day. If I have to spend it at the hospital, that's fine, but we should be spending it together".

Within 20 minutes, I become stir crazy, so I proceed to go through drawers in the little room. In no time, I'm wearing latex gloves, a surgical mask, covered in band-aids with a tongue depressor in my hand. I look at Vaughn - "Say aah". He rolls his eyes, "I'm not saying aah". I flashed him. He said "aah".... They ran a million tests, gave him pain killers, but nothing was working. I tried to keep his spirits up, but with my attention span of a 5 year old, I quickly became bored again. So I played 'Bejeweled' on my cell phone, downloaded some new ringtones, read magazines, and then as Vaughn started to doze I noticed some really fun stuff in one of the clear drawers...Lube & giant bandages. I quietly start to open the drawer, and wouldn't you know it - The entire thing went crashing to the floor, the handle smashed into a million pieces and Vaughn looked at me - "I've been at this hospital a million times and never touched a thing. You've been here for about an hour, and you're already beating things up. How old are you???" This sent me into a fit of laughter.

At about 10:30, a nurse came in and told us that they had found something unusual in his tests and were calling in a specialist to examine him. I had to leave, as Adam had school in the morning and I had to work, and I had to get lunches made and clothes ironed, so I told Vaughn to call me and I'd come back to get him. At 1:45 am he called. After examination, the specialist looked at him and said, "You are one lucky man for coming in here tonight." They found a blood clot on his lung. The reason the pain was spreading was because the clot had started to move. He was informed that if it had made it's way to his heart, he wouldn't have lasted 60 seconds.

I am so grateful for this man for finding this... I shudder to think that I could have been a widow at 39.

Things are starting to get back to normal around here, but after this all hit me this morning, I've come to the realization that I have to stop taking things for granted - I have to appreciate every second and not get pissed off at the small things. After my shower, I sat on the bed and held him and for the first time, cried. I'm famous for blocking things out of my head, and even more famous for living in denial. Never again.

Have a great day, everyone. Peace.

Do You See What I See?

2007-02-19T17:42:00.000-07:00

One Sunday a month, my husband and I try to get together for brunch with our good friends, Jayne and Scott. Even though we talk on the phone and drop into each other's work every now and then, I love it, because it's a time to eat a ton of stuff we don't need to be eating, and a time to catch up on a lot of gossip over a gallon of coffee.

Yesterday was one of those days - we met at our usual brunch spot and in between mouthfuls of food they told me that there was a psychic fair in town - would I like to go? Would I??? I'm all about crazy stuff like that. Vaughn isn't. So, after I bid him farewell in the parking lot, I jumped into the backseat of their truck, and we were off. The whole time I could hear my mother, the crazy, bible-thumping Catholic, nagging at me - "So, you can't spend one hour a week with the Lord, but you can go to a psychic? It's the work of the devil, you know that, don't you Darlene?" I quickly blocked her out - however, I do tend to save this story as ammunition the next time she pisses me off....

We walked into a room that was lined with fortune tellers. We then proceeded to try and decide which one we would go to. Jayne opted for this "Witch Doctor" type who is from a Celtic and Native descent - this lady claimed to be able to dig into past lives, so Jayne was intrigued. I thought it was going to be damn interesting, because I wanted to know why my dear friend was a neurotic germaphobe with the worst case of OCD I had ever come across. So we sit. Jayne touches a crystal & the lady is off and running. Jayne's life apparently began at Atlantis. She was a warrior who helped people get on the 'mother ship' when the city was destroyed. Scott & I glance at each other....I had to walk away....I returned to find out that at one point she was a man that had given a sexually transmitted disease to somebody in a prostitute-ridden town. Too much. So she was done.

I went to buy my ticket for my reading. When the man inquired as to which person I wanted, I told him, "The crazy lady in the corner". Her name was Tara - and I got an "Aura Reading". So, as I sat there, she closed her eyes, flailed her arms around a bit and kept chanting my name. I was told that I'm a person that bores easily (big surprise). I was also told that I am going to be changing jobs soon to work for the company that my husband works for. hmmmm....She also dug into the whole family thing and told me that I have to keep finding hobbies to amuse myself. So.....can anyone teach me how to knit? (kare??)

Anyway, all in all, it was fun, if not a little crazy - and everything would have been great if she hadn't looked at me when we were finished and I was getting out of my chair and said, "You can't leave until I get a hug." I hate touching people - especially crazy little fortune tellers that I don't even know. If she were such a good psychic, would she not have known this?

For pure entertainment purposes only, it was $80.00 well spent. Sorry, I can't type anymore, though - Apparently, I have to go & find something to amuse myself with.

Have a great evening, everyone. Peace.

2007-02-14T08:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I hope your day is filled with happiness, love & lots of chocolate!

2007-02-10T19:32:00.000-07:00

Okay - first let me apologize for not posting for the last million years - getting back in the swing of things has proven to be more difficult than anticipated.

Banff was amazing - just as I had expected. The weather was beautiful and my new uggs kept my feet toasty. ;o) I didn't go skiing, however, but my husband (after months of pep talks) did manage to get me up on the gondola , even though I thought for sure my nerves would get the best of me again. Here are some pics from almost 8000 feet above sea level:

I can honestly say that I thought I was going to die, but now it's another thing I can cross of my 'to-do' list.

I found an amazing chocolate store that sold the most unbelievable caramel popcorn. I loved it so much, I went back on my last day to buy 6 bags. If you ever get there, you absolutely have to try it.

We went to Lake Louise one afternoon, and saw some ice sculptures
and it was all so beautiful.

The resort we stayed at was quite cozy
but it was the view from the outside that was breathtaking.

I spent a lot of time browsing through the great shops - probably spent too much money, but the time away was definitely worth it. These are some views of the main street:

As great as it was, it's always nice to be back home - I missed the kids and Porkchop terribly. On my way back, Amy told me she was moving out with a friend, so I've been a little melancholy about that - My first child is leaving the nest.... This has been tougher on me than I ever imagined, even though she'll only be living about 10 minutes away.

I'm going to be spending my Sunday catching up on everyone's blogs....I missed you all and I'm starting to feel 'out of the loop'.

Have a wonderful evening, everyone. Peace.

Road Trip

2007-01-26T19:01:00.000-07:00

Well, boys and girls, my husband is taking me on a holiday tomorrow morning. We are going to be in Banff (yay!) until next Sunday - staying at a beautiful resort...Just the two of us for eight days.

I'm not a great skier (After 2 seasons of lessons, I actually suck), but maybe he'll talk me into one day on the slopes, but mostly it'll be shopping, eating way too much, and just having an insane amount of fun.

He's taking me to Pier 1 tomorrow to pick out my NEW DISHES!!!!!!!!! He got me a gift certificate for Christmas from there & it's been burning a hole in my wallet. As well, I'm going to stop at a store called "Gravity Pope" to get a new pair of Uggs - Amy rolled her eyes when I told her that I can't go to Banff for a week without them.

So, I'll have my laptop with me, and I'll try to keep up with everyone's lives. Have a wonderful week! I'll take lots of pictures! Peace!